When it comes to dating and even marriage, a lot of men don’t put nearly as much thought into selecting their partners as they should be doing.
Most guys instead either focus on chasing the hottest Vietnamese girl that they can get or they get with one that is easy and doesn’t require much effort.
But are these girls really the best candidates to be in a relationship with or are you short changing yourself by focusing on the wrong things?
When it comes to dating, guys never stop and think about what qualities their girlfriend or wife should possess and whether or not their current partner matches up to their requirements.
Getting a girlfriend or wife in Vietnam is very easy.
In fact, girls are often willing to marry guys all within a few weeks of notice.
You may even purchase a wife if your lazy and just want one to be handed to you on a silver platter.
However, does easy = quality?
In fact, trying to find a quality Vietnamese girl that would be a good Vietnamese bride or girlfriend is a lot tougher then you would think.
Today I’m going to talk about the qualities you should look for when deciding whether or not a girl has girlfriend or wife potential.
What type of personality does the current Vietnamese woman that your seeing possess?
Does she have a warm and down to earth personality or is she arrogant and self-centered?
Is she fun to be around or does it feel like she is sucking the life force out of you?
Since this girl could very well by the girl that you will be spending the rest of your life with, ask yourself what type of girl do you want to be around.
You will need to look at what type of personality suits you the best but here are somethings to consider:
- Is she an introvert or extrovert?
- Is she empathetic towards others?
- Is she gentle and warm or cold and distant?
- Is she supportive of you and your ambitions?
- What about her own ambitions? Does she look to go seek out new opportunities or is she content playing follow the leader?
- Does she have an entrepreneurship mindset?
- How cooperative is she in daily tasks with you?
- Does she like to show off or is she more modest?
- Is she an affectionate person or more reserved with her feelings?
- What about her attitude towards money? Is she frugal and penny pinching or does she freely spend money without batting an eyelash?
- Does she have a sense of humor or is she stiff like a rock?
- Is she an independent girl or does she always rely on you?
- Is she confident or shy?
- Is she sweet and caring and have a nurturing personality? This can be a good indicator of how she will behave with children.
- Is she a jealous person?
Each guy will have a different set of personality preferences from the above list. Its important to analyze this list and determine what you want in a partner and also what you are willing to compromise or not compromise in a partner.
In addition to the above personality traits, here are some red flags that should immediately start ringing some alarm bells in your head.
Personality Red Flags:
- Pessimistic and always negative. Basically an energy vampire that will suck out all of your positive energy, bringing your mood down to their level.
- Closed minded and not open to trying new things
- Masculine: Do you want to date a girl that thinks and acts like a man?
- Has anger management issues
- Excessive swearing and likes to put you and others down
- Hot and cold behavior (one minute sweet and nice then the next minute cold and distant)
- Frequent liar
- Any sort of personality disorders
- Has a history of depression or psychotic breakdowns
When dating a Vietnamese girl that exhibits any of these red flags, be extra cautious and wary of getting into a serious relationship with them.
The more of these red flags she has, the higher the chance that she will bring misery and distress to your life.
I personally would not ever consider having a serious relationship with any girl that had any of these red flags.
A girls upbringing can tell you a lot about what you can expect from her in the relationship. Things like her family history, how well she gets along with her family, any sort of past abuse, what type of environment she is around will play key roles in your relationship with her.
How well does she get along with her parents, especially her father?
Girls that typically have issues with their father or he wasn’t in the picture when she was growing up tend to have problems forming relationships with the opposite sex.
Girls that come from broken homes typically exhibit self-esteem issues and these insecurities can usually lead to a host of problems later down the line in a relationship such as the constant need for attention to make up for the lack of attention from her father and family.
Furthermore, girls with a history of instability in their household tend to be unable to hold relationships for long due to their own self-destructive tendencies that sabotage the relationship.
Any sort of abuse that she suffered while living with her folks can also have a profound effect on her psyche and negatively effect her relationships with the opposite sex.
When visiting your girlfriend or wife’s family, observe how she treats them or vice versa. This can be a good sign of what their relationship is like.
If they seem close and affectionate, then you probably don’t have too much to worry about. However if you see them arguing a lot or being distant or even absent, then be careful!
You want to select a life long partner that comes from a stable family where both of her parents are still together and she has a good relationship with her family, especially her father.
Before getting into a relationship with this girl, ask yourself does she have any issues with her family?
Of equal importance is her lifestyle and how she runs her day to day life.
You may want to consider things like her hobbies, how well kept her home is, who she hangs out with, how many partners has she had previously, and even how often she uses social media.
These things can give you a glimpse into how life with her would be like.
How clean is her place when you visit or even stay over?
Is it spotless or does it look like a pig’s dump?
Some girls can put out quite a neat and tidy appearance outside but once you arrive back at her place and you see how she lives, it makes you wonder whether or not its even the same person.
Some people on the other hand, keep their place spotless and sanitize their whole place if there is even a hint of dirt. They can be quite uptight about cleanliness.
Ask yourself which type of living environment most identifies with your current living situation.
In addition, also consider whether or not she is a clean person herself.
Some girls despite living in a dump are quite hygienic while others lack personal hygiene.
For some reason or another, I have noticed quite often that picking your nose while out in public is socially accepted here.
Often times I would be out and about running my daily errands only to witness some guy or woman digging through their nose with their fingers, and flicking out their nasty boogers on the sidewalk.
I actually dated a girl that had this nasty habit of picking her nose all the time. I even remember that she reeked and smelled one time when I got close to her when I had her over at my place.
This red flag wasn’t apparent the first few times that I went out with her, probably because she was wearing perfume and wanted to put on a good impression for me.
Although she was attractive, she lacked basic cleanliness and had to be shown out the door.
Friends and Social Circle
They say you are the average of the five people that you spend the most time with, so what better way to get a better glimpse into a Vietnamese girl then to find out more about her friends and people in her social circle.
If your girlfriend or wife is always hanging out with girls that love to party and drink, doing drugs, getting tats, or other questionable activities, then you can bet your ass that she no doubt partakes in these activities as well.
Luckily though, in Vietnam the majority of people don’t get involved in these activities because of a huge social stigma associated with it.
Going out late at night, drinking and smoking shisha, getting tattoos are all looked down upon here in Vietnam, especially by elders.
However, as the degenerate aspects of western culture slips through into Vietnamese society, you will no doubt see more and more girls doing these activities.
Prior to deciding on whether or not to get married with a Vietnamese women, its a wise idea to get to know her friends and see what they are like.
If they all hold steady jobs, dress conservatively, and spend their outings sipping coffee or grabbing dinner at a modest restaurant, then you probably don’t have anything to worry about.
Take your time doing your research before getting serious with her.
Social Media Usage
Nowadays social media has completely taken over a woman’s psyche.
In a country like Vietnam, nearly every single Vietnamese girl will have some sort of social media presence, especially on the likes of Facebook and Zalo.
While using social media once in a while is no biggy, there have been reports that excessive social media usage is comparable to having a drug addiction. Furthermore, social media usage contributes to social media anxiety disorder, whereby people develop anxiety from not being able to check up on their social media. This is one of those reasons why you see a lot of Vietnamese girls being glued to their phones all the time.
For a lot of females, social media usage especially the likes of Facebook acts as a haven for her to get ever lasting attention and validation from people, especially men.
Having a bad day?
No problem, just go snap a few selfies making a duck face pose and instantly, you will receive hundreds of likes and comments from thirsty dudes telling you how beautiful you are.
Is it so surprisingly then that girls just can’t put their phones down?
Just imagine your on a date with your girlfriend and every 10 minutes, she’s whipping out her phone to check up on how many likes she has on Facebook.
Now imagine you getting ready to go to bed with her, but you see a bright light popping up on her phone.
When you ask her what she’s doing, she answers “Oh nothing, I just received some new comments from a photo I uploaded earlier today”
Now can you see why dating a girl with social media addiction can be a problem?
She will never be present when your with her. Instead she would rather waste her life becoming more and more self-absorbed in la la land. Her whole existence is now based around getting validation from people on the net rather than trying to form long lasting relationships with the guy right in front of her.
Now while merely having a facebook profile or social media presence isn’t anything to be alarmed about (practically all Vietnamese girls do), using it at all waking hours of the day can be an issue, especially if its during times when she’s hanging out with you.
See what sort of things interest the girl that your seeing.
Does she spend her weekends down at a bar, gulping down shots of vodka while smoking up shisha with her group of friends, while loud ear deafening music is playing around her?
Or does she prefer to stay at home reading some novels to enhance her intellect?
I’m sure you know which girl is more suitable for a long term relationship (LTR) in this scenario.
You also may want to consider whether or not the girl that your seeing has the same interests or hobbies as you, or something similar.
Now while you don’t need to have matching hobbies to enjoy each other’s company, sharing similar hobbies means one of you guys won’t feel like your making compromises for the other.
Also hobbies that complement each other work well too, for example martial arts training and weight lifting.
So what hobbies are fine?
- Reading books
- Watching movies/tv
- playing sports such as badminton or soccer
- Martial arts
- Working out at the gym
Basically anything except the following things below:
- Excessive drinking
- Drug use
- Partying and clubbing
- Political activism especially radical man hating groups
- Excessive shopping
- Getting tattoos
- Learning how to pole dance
- Excessive social media usage
- Any other degenerate activities that don’t enhance her well-being
Next time when your out on a date with a girl, observe her behavior and try asking her what she does for fun in her free time. This could give you some good insight into what sort of girl your dealing with.
Number of Sexual Partners
It has long been accepted wisdom that there is a negative correlation with the number of sexual partners a women has had and her ability to form a stable long lasting relationship with a guy.
In addition, according to a study conducted by the Institute for Family Studies, the more sexual partners a female has had, the higher the likelihood that her marriage will end up in a divorce.
This has prompted men to only seek out females that are either virgins or with very low partner counts.
Females intuitively know this and the negative repercussions of having a high partner count.
Its not surprisingly then that females tend to want to under report the number of sexual partners that she has been with.
Here’s a perfect example of this in action:
I remember dating this classmate of mine back in university, and inadvertently placed myself into the boyfriend potential category because of my behavior and lack of experience with women. This led to her putting up a fake persona and good impression in front of me while she was secretly an uncover ho*.
I remember asking her how many partners she’s had.
Her answer was that she’s been in “two LTR’s”.
Later on, she told me she had actually been with 7-8 guys after I pressed her further.
Notice how she was lying by omission.
“Well I’ve only been in 2 LTR’s.”
I mean sure, she was in 2 LTR’s but she had slept with at least 7-8 different guys.
I never even asked her how many LTR’s she had been in, only how many guys she’s been with.
She knew exactly what I was asking yet choose to answer the question in a way to make it seem like her sexual partner count was much lower than it really was.
I actually don’t even trust that number she gave me. It was probably more like 21-24 guys, maybe even higher!
Why do I suspect this?
Her behavior, lifestyle, and personality was not congruent with the words that came outta her mouth.
When deciding on whether or not to marry a Vietnamese girl, ask yourself how many partners does she have?
If your looking for the highest chance of a stable and successful marriage, then look for a female with little to no previous sexual partners.
I would probably not try to wife up any girl that has had more than 3 previous partners before meeting you.
When selecting a partner, you may also want to consider genetics.
Not only can genetics play a role in how your future children will look like, it may also indicate any sort of medical conditions that they will be predisposed to.
If your wife is on the shorter end, has a small frame, low iq, and is very thin, then chances are your children will at least inherit some of these traits from her.
Likewise, if she suffers from any sort of medical condition, your children could potentially be at risk of inheriting this as well.
You may want to also find out the family history of any girls that you are dating seriously. If she has a family member with a specific disease, your kids could potentially be at risk for it.
If there are specific things that you are looking to have in your children, you will need to do your due diligence to seek out a partner that could potentially pass on these attributes to your offspring.
Now one thing I should note though is that since Vietnam isn’t exactly the riches country in the world, the girl that your seeing could have been malnourished while going up, and quite possibly still be malnourished. This would then mean that she couldn’t reach her genetic potential ie. her height or build could have been taller and bigger.
With a proper diet and the necessary nutrition, your kids would most likely be able to be closer to their genetic potential.
Take me for example. I’m much taller then both of my parents and have a much bigger build then them. Its because I was raised abroad and had access to better nutrition then my parents.
So even though she may seem a bit smaller and on the shorter end of the spectrum, your kids could most likely be taller and bigger, especially if you yourself already have these genes.
Education and Brains
Believe it or not, but intelligence in a girl makes a huge difference in a relationship.
I have personally witnessed the amount of stress and anger that men face when they decide to settle down with a woman that is dumb as a doorknob.
You will want to pull your hair out trying to explain something so simple as how to use a compass or how to operate a computer yet it will just go in one ear and out the other.
When selecting a partner, you should consider how smart and educated she is.
Did she finish high school?
What about university?
Also realize that brains are at least partially passed down from parent to child.
If you want dumb kids then go marry a bimbo.
I cannot stress enough how important education and intelligence levels play when your trying to decide whether or not to wife a girl up.
What are her personal beliefs like?
Personal beliefs don’t just stop at religion, it may include such beliefs as political, philosophical, and spiritual.
Is she a vegan and participates in those Peta protests while your chewing down that plate of steak and potatoes?
Maybe she’s all for free trade while you encourage protectionism of industry.
Typically these aren’t too much of an issue if one party doesn’t try to impose their own beliefs on the other party.
I’ve dated girls that were devout Christians and Catholics before and it didn’t seem to have any detrimental effects on the relationship.
It only really becomes an issue if the other party feels that both people need to share the same beliefs and there aren’t any compromises in the relationship.
If you have any deep seeded unyielding personal beliefs, it may be wise to seek out a partner that shares in those beliefs.
For some guys religion is very important and the female needs to come from the same religion or at least be willing to convert to their religion before marriage would even be considered whereas some other guys couldn’t give two hoots about it.
For me personally, religion ain’t a make it or break it type of deal.
Yes, of course like anyone, I would prefer a girl that follows the same religion as my family, however if I meet a great girl who I click with extremely well, then I would be willing to make compromises in this department.
Keep in mind, the dominant religions in Vietnam include an intertwined combination of Buddhism, Confucianism, and Taoism, where 85% of the population regularly pay homage to Buddhist pagodas in Vietnam.
If your a religious person then you need to take into consideration what her religious beliefs are and whether or not you can work something out.
If your like me on the other than, then don’t sweat it.
Depending on how old you are and whether or not your looking to start a family with her, age should not be looked at lightly.
If you pick a bride that’s too young, then you will need to contend with a lack of maturity, different life goals, and beliefs compared to yourself.
Most girls in the age range of 18-22 only care about going on social media, watching movies at the local CGV, eating korean BBQ with her friends, going on short trips around Vietnam with her friends and family, and graduating from university or high school. They aren’t looking to settle down quite yet unless her education levels are no higher than middle school and she’s working some dead end job.
But a lot of men don’t stop and think about this. They see a young youthful girl and immediately they think to themselves that if they can land someone young like that, they scored themselves a great catch despite their being a huge age gap.
However, years later, the guys find out that their new wife is not compatible with them due to the large age gap and then fights and arguments happen on a weekly basis, ultimately leading to divorce.
Now on the other end of the spectrum, guys that choose to date or marry much older women are usually pressured into marriage soon after dating them and then immediately starting families with her unless they want to kiss their chances of having kids goodbye.
Girls that are in the late 30’s only have a limited amount of time to conceive a child before its too late.
And once she’s past 40, the chances are even lower yet the risk significantly higher.
What happens then is she will try to lock the guy down as soon as possible and get him to start a family with her due to this very short window of time.
Guys that choose to date these girls will often get guilt tripped and pressured into getting married soon after dating them (usually within a year or less).
This doesn’t give the guy much time to find out whether or not they are really compatible.
This is something to keep in mind if you do intend on dating someone older.
Then of course there are the much older females in the higher age brackets like 40 years +.
You probably can’t have any children with them anymore as they are well passed their fertility years.
Now this is all fine and dandy if your not interested in starting a family with a woman. Maybe you already have children already from a previous relationship or you just don’t like kids.
For me personally though, I find the perfect balance to be somewhere in the mid 20’s. Around 23-25 years old.
The girl is still quite young, at least by western standards yet is more mature, has a job already and has a good idea of what she wants out of life by this point.
I can date her for a few years and then if things are going well and I see us being very compatible together, then we can tie the knot.
It would give me sufficient time to screen her, see how well we mesh together and maybe even give a test drive living together first before considering marriage.
There is still plenty of time for us to have kids as well.
At whatever age range you choose to have a lifelong partner, just make sure you know exactly what you want in the relationship with her.
Are Looks Important?
Notice how I left this one all the way at the end of the article, because looks are really not that important if your looking to spend the rest of your life with someone.
A lot of guys go out there and try to land themselves a trophy wife that looks smoking hot yet has zero personality and substance.
They then grow weary and resentful of their wife and either end up cheating on her, or she commits the act herself.
Now while you shouldn’t just settle down with any women, especially a ham beast (someone that has completely let themselves go and put zero effort into their appearance and makes you feel embarrassed to be around them) you shouldn’t just focus purely on looks either.
Instead try to look for a happy medium between these lines.
Say for example:
You have 2 Vietnamese girls:
Girl #1: Smoking hot promo model that is 5’7 tall, great body, and beautiful face that is the envy of every girl in town, yet she’s not very bright, loves to party and drink, is glued to her phone 24/7, has a few tattoos, her parents are divorced, and she can’t cook nor clean either.
Girl #2: A cute girl next door type, who went to university, has a decent job, comes from a conservative and stable household, knows how to cook and clean, and doesn’t have a social media presence.
Which one do you think would make a better girlfriend and wife?
I certainly hope you picked girl #2.
Girl #1 may be the hotter one of the bunch but that’s all she brings to the table.
There’s zero substance to her character, and she will bring a whole slew of drama and problems into the relationship with you vs girl #2 who has a good head on her shoulders.
And while we’re on the subject of looks, lets not forget about that magical wonder called make-up, which can turn an ugly duckling into a swan.
Don’t get easily fooled by a girl slapping on a tonne of makeup to hide all of her imperfections, vs a girl without much makeup on that looks cute but nothing spectacular.
The latter actually looks a lot better if she were to wear the same amount of makeup.
One has true natural beauty while the other has fake beauty.
Don’t focus so much on just the superficial aspects of a girl otherwise you may miss some of those rare diamonds in the rough.
Where Do I Find These Girls?
If your looking to meet quality Vietnamese girls then these places are your best bet. Most of the girls are “normal” by Vietnamese standards, are serious about dating except maybe daygame which is a hit or miss depending on who you approach, and are much higher caliber compared to anything you would find elsewhere such as at a bar or club.
- It’s pretty easy to meet decent girls online here in Vietnam by using online dating websites such as VietnamCupid. There are literally thousands of cute Vietnamese girls on VietnamCupid all eager and waiting to meet a nice foreign guy from abroad to spend the rest of their life with. You can search for girls based on various attributes such as physical features, education levels, languages spoken, and occupation. To learn more about VietnamCupid, check out my review here.
- Social Circle
- If you have any friends or family members in Vietnam, you can ask them whether or not they know of anyone to introduce to you. Most people in Vietnam love to play matchmaker and will be more than happy to introduce single girls to you. The only drawback however is that you can’t select who you will get, and the amount of girls you will meet will be quite limited depending on the size of your social circle.
- This is another great way to meet some high quality girls when your just going out and about your day. You can meet a lot of girls that you would have not met otherwise if you mix in some approaches during the daytime. The only drawback with this however is that it does take a bit of practice to get good at it, and there will definitely be language barriers as most of the girls will not be able to speak English.
Avoid These Places
Avoid marriage agencies or love tours. These places are basically selling females like a product off the shelve and often times these females marry not for love, but for money.
Sometimes you might get lucky and she won’t leave your ass after she gets her green card while other times, she cleans you dry.
In addition, also never go to a bar or nightclub with the intention of finding a wife or quality girlfriend. These places are meant just for casual fun and nothing more.
Don’t start falling in love with these women and then be in denial when your friends spot her going into a hotel with another guy and telling you about it.
“But wait, she’s different than those other girls. She loves me.” you say.
That’s what every other guy said before you that wifed up one of these girls and then later regretted it.
Your not the exception but the rule!
When it comes to dating, a lot of men only look at things in the short-term perspective rather than the long-term.
They don’t consider things like a girl’s personality, her upbringing, her lifestyle, number of sexual partners, genetics, age, and personal beliefs. Instead, men choose to focus solely either on looks or ease of hooking up with a girl, which may not always yield the best quality girls for the guy.
In addition, a lot of guys choose to ignore red flags from a girl because she’s either really hot or they are afraid of being alone.
But is all of that drama and stress really worth it just to have a low quality companion that brings nothing but havoc to your life?
You want to have a girl in your life that builds you up, not tears you down.
If you take the time to screen for good girlfriend or wife potential candidates then I promise you will enjoy a great long lasting fruitful relationship with a quality girl that will help you become a greater man!