What’s online dating in vietnam like?


What’s online dating in Vietnam Like?

After experiencing what was a train wreck of an online dating experience in the west, I didn’t have high hopes for trying my hand at it in Vietnam, but I was pleasantly surprised by it.

Meeting cute Vietnamese girls has never been more convenient and easy with the advent of online dating making its way into Vietnam.

There are more than enough dating apps here to keep you busy and profiles of cute and beautiful Vietnamese girls are springing up online every single day here.

But is everything all sunshine and rainbows when it comes to the online dating realm here in Vietnam?

On today’s article I’m going to be discussing what’s it like to be dating online here in Vietnam.

Nearly Every Girl Will Have an Online Presence

Online dating in vietnam: Vietnamese girl using a tablet

If you spend more than a month here, you will quickly realize that nearly every single girl has some sort of dating profile if she’s still single, hell I’ve even seen a few girls that have boyfriends or husbands yet are still on these dating websites.

Vietnamese girls are glued to their phones 24/7.

If you pay careful attention, you may notice that people here in Vietnam prefer to use their mobile phones rather than a computer.

If you ask 10 people whether or not they own a computer, probably 7/10 won’t. But if you ask them whether or not they own a phone, 10/10 will say they own a phone, even if its a crappy cellphone.

Unless the girl is dirt poor and living in the countryside where there’s no electricity, she most likely has some sort of an online presence, most likely on facebook, instagram, and zalo.

If a girl tells you otherwise, she’s lying!

Likewise, if a girl takes forever to respond back to you, most likely she’s ignoring your messages and has low interest.

I can say with nearly 100% certainty that every girl that took her sweet ass time to get back to me, I never got anywhere with them, whereas girls that responded promptly allowed me to take things further with them.

Use this as a gauge to see how interested in you she is.

Language Barriers Are Real

You didn’t think it was going to be that easy, did you?

Unfortunately English levels are quite low in Vietnam.

Most of the girls that you will converse with online will have only a basic level of English.

You can forget about having any sort of witty conversation with them. Also, kiss most of your jokes goodbye because they won’t understand most of them.

This means that you can either target only English speaking girls, use a translator app like google translate, or learn Vietnamese.

If your interested in the latter option, I wrote an article about learning Vietnamese with a tonne of resources. Click here to check it out.

This will be one of your biggest hindrance when it comes to online dating here and has costed me quite a number of leads back when I didn’t speak a word of Vietnamese.

Luckily, I invested some time into learning Vietnamese and now can converse a bit with girls in their native tongue.

Getting Dates is Very Easy

Vietnamese woman in white dress

Scoring dates with cute and beautiful Vietnamese girls is very easy over here when it comes to online dating.

Getting numbers is even more easy. You can easily grab 5-10 numbers within 1-2 hours through online dating.

Girls hand out their numbers like promotional flyers here.

There isn’t the same social stigma that you see abroad when it comes to girls giving out their numbers.

You can easily line up 2-3 dates a day over here in Vietnam due to the ease of securing dates.

If girl #1 flakes on you, no worries.

You still got girl #2 and #3.

I attribute this one wonder to balanced gender demographics, high competition among females, and the patriarchal society in Vietnam.

Balanced Demographics

Unlike in some western countries + China where the demographics are completely out of whack, Vietnam has a more or less balanced demographics.

What this means is that a lot of local guys won’t be chasing after table scraps and inflating girls egos to god like levels.

This in turn means that in a lot of your interactions with Vietnamese girls they will be quite pleasant and down to earth, especially the ones that speak little to no English and have had little to no exposure to foreign guys.

Now the reason why I mention foreign guys and not local guys is because a lot of foreign guys that come from countries with skewed gender ratios tend to be extremely thirsty and supplicating. When they see a girl that they like, they will almost 100% of the time start complimenting her on her looks.

“You are so beautiful!”

“I think I’m in love.”

“Are you an angel?”


When a girl starts receiving an insane amount of attention, especially on her looks, even if she is average looking at best, her head will start getting large and inflated, leading to her believing she is much higher value than she really is, all because of the actions of these desperate chumps.

This is why the more westernized a Vietnamese girl is, the more awful her attitude becomes. She has become accustomed to getting her boots licked by these guys, ready to do her every bidding while she becomes more and more demanding and difficult to deal with.

High Female Competition

Vietnamese girl in pink dress

Vietnam is loaded with beautiful slim and feminine girls unlike other developed countries that are facing an obesity crisis.

What this means is that there are more than plenty of slim and cute girls to go around for each guy.

A girl knows that if she doesn’t bring her A game to the table, then there will be at least half a dozen girls ready to take her place.

This also acts as a way of keeping her attitude in check and bringing her ego down to earth.

Girls will spend a tonne of money on buying dresses, makeup, hitting the gym, and avoiding those big macs, all with the goal of remaining pretty and slim to nab herself a high value guy.

If she chooses not to do this, she’ll be left behind in the dust.

You can see this effect in action in some other countries as well such as Russia, where there are far more females than males. Russians have longed developed a reputation for being some of the most beautiful women in the entire world, and knowing the high level of competition over there, females are forced to bring their best foot forward.

Patriarchal Society

Because of Vietnam’s emphasize on maintaining a patriarchal society, males are valued much more highly compared to females.

This outlook towards the power dynamic has deep roots in Vietnamese culture, where sons have long been taught from a very young age that they are responsible for taking care of their wives, parents and elders, whereas the daughters will most likely be married off to another family and supporting their husbands family rather than their own.

Then there’s the issue of surnames, whereby a family seeks to preserve their surname and lineage. Since the offspring of daughters will follow the surname of their father’s, families prefer having sons instead.

In addition, there’s the issue of males being the main breadwinners in the household.

Because of all these factors, men are valued much more highly over here rather than females.

Looks Online vs Reality

This one is a big pet peeve of mines.

I cannot count the number of times where I was mislead by a girl’s photos online.

What was supposed to have been a looker based on her photos soon ends up as just a plain Jane in person.

When your doing online dating here, you will frequently encounter girls using either fake photos of their friends or of a celebrity.

I have called out and even reported many girls that tried to mislead men with fake photos.

There’s also the issue of girls heavily photo shopping their photos.

I can give you one example of where this is prevalent.

Acne over here in Vietnam seems to be quite common. Now I don’t know exactly why this is, but I would speculate its due to a combination of the weather, food, and hygiene.

In online photos often times, you will see girls without so much of a zit on their faces, however once you get them out in person suddenly it feels like she has a whole family of pimples on her face.

I had one girl that I was talking with on VietnamCupid who I met about 2 years ago. Based on her photos I thought she looked kind of cute, however one day when I got her on videochat, my opinion quickly changed.

I noticed tonnes of pimples and acne scars all over her face and cheeks.

She mentioned that she loved to apply filters on her photos which wasn’t surprisingly considering her case of acne.

Needless to say I was quickly put off and never tried to meetup with her.

If she had been honest about everything from the get go, perhaps things would have been different.

There have also been instances where girls would take photos from favorable angles to make themselves prettier or slimmer.

When you actually do see how they really look in real life, its nothing like in their photos.

Due to the ambiguity of photos being used in online dating, I would suggest that you subtract at least 1 point from any photos of her to arrive at a more realistic value of what she really looks like in person.

Also look out for weird or strange angles or excessive makeup.

In addition, if the girl looks absolutely gorgeous in the photo or it looks like its been professional shot, do a quick google image search to see whether or not that is really her and not someone else.

To further save you time and agony from being misled, I would recommend that you try to video chat with a girl prior to meeting her.

If she is reluctant to do this, it could be a sign that she is trying to hide something.

Huge Variety of Girls

Vietnamese girl wearing a white blouse

When you try online dating in Vietnam, you will quickly be overwhelmed by the sheer amount of talent available.

You can find all sorts of girls from all walks of life such as:

  • Your westernized Vietnamese girl that shuns her own culture and only dates foreigners exclusively
  • Your working girl
  • The girl looking for a sugar daddy
  • Your Viet Kieu girl visiting the motherland to escape boredom back home
  • Your single mom
  • Your late 20’s career oriented woman whose trying to lock some high value guy down before she hits the wall
  • Your university student
  • Your retail worker or receptionist at a hotel
  • The girl that sells you a coffee or banh mi on the streets

I’ve met everything from a virgin to the bad attitude foul mouthed westernized gold diggers that refuses to speak Vietnamese.

Even on notorious hookup apps like Tinder which caters to individuals only looking for short term casual flings, you will find virgins or girls looking for serious relationships on it.

Lots of Girls Looking For Sugar Daddies Online

This one caught me off guard.

Back in the west, meeting a gold digger on a dating app was not that common and the gold diggers are pretty direct about what they were looking for in their profiles or within the first minute of conversation. This saves everybody a lot of headaches from the get go.

However on here, a lot of girls like to play innocent until proven guilty.

Depending on which dating app you are using, you will find a tonne of gold diggers when it comes to online dating here.

Now I don’t know whether this is due to the economic situation in Vietnam or if its because of the demographics of guys that do use these apps making them easy prey for these girls.

But man did I encounter a tonne of gold diggers.

Some of them will be quite blatant and direct in asking you for money, to take them shopping, or to dinner at some high end place while others are more subtle on letting in on their motives.

Luckily, a large chunk of the girls that you encounter in your everyday life won’t be like that and these are the girls that you should be going after and dating anyways.

If your interested in learning more about how to identify gold diggers, click here.

Lots of Girls Just Looking to Use Men For Attention

Far too often, you will have a great conversation with a cute girl, and think the chemistry between you guys are great, only for her to make up some lame excuse or just straight out go cold on you when you ask for her number or a date.

Its unfortunate but this happens regularly online, especially on apps like Tinder.

I remember once there was a girl that I was speaking with on Tinder. I thought I was doing well with her and even managed to grab her number, but when I tried to call her, she made up some BS excuse that she doesn’t answer phone calls.

She would give me wishy-washy answers when I asked her when she was available to meet for a coffee as well.

I got rid of her soon enough.

However, about 1-2 months later as fate would have it, I ended up matching with her again. I must have not seen her photos when I was doing a marathon swipe session on Tinder.

I wanted to see how far I could get with her this time,and sure enough as predicted, she again wasted my time, just using the app to seek attention and being vague and evasive when I asked her about her schedule.

Funny thing was, a little while later, a friend of mine also matched with her and she also gave him the run around.

A lot of these girls that you meet online are only using the apps as a way of getting an ego boost and free attention and have no intentions of ever meeting someone off of it.

This is not surprisingly however because according to a study conducted by lendedu that interviewed millennials on why they are using Tinder, it found that about 44% of people using it were only doing so to get an ego boost.

Think about that for a second…

Nearly half of the girls that you meet on Tinder are only using it as an ego boost and not for dating!

Now while the participants from that study aren’t from Vietnam, it does give you a glimpse into the bleak nature of how men’s time are freely being wasted by a substantial amount of girls on some of these dating apps.

I wasn’t able to find similar studies for Vietnam, but I can imagine based on my own experience and that of friends that a sizable amount of girls are using online dating apps for an ego boost only.

This is one of the main reasons why I always try to get a girl out as soon as possible.

It helps me weed out all of the time wasters.

Girls that don’t offer her number… NEXT!

Girls giving me vague and wishy-washy answers when I try to invite them out… NEXT!

Girls that are actually serious about dating and want to meet you, will make it happen.

Girls that aren’t on the other hand, will give you every excuse possible to not make it happen.

Girls Looking to Use Men For Free English Lessons

Online dating in Vietnam: Vietnamese girl wearing a white áo dài

Unfortunately things don’t stop there with girls wanting to use guys for free attention. There are some girls on online dating platforms that are strictly there to use men to improve their English.

Some of them will faint interest in you to sustain conversations while others will mention that they are online only to seek friends or to practice their English.

In either case, the end result is the same.

Some poor fella who thinks he’s making headway with some cute girl, gets strung along for months and possibly years before coming to his senses that the girl is just using him for free English lessons and sees him as nothing more than a pawn and platonic friend.

I’ve actually called out a few girls that used dating platforms as a way to score free English lessons. Most of them feign ignorance even though they know the deal.

If you meet any girl that seems quite enthusiastic to just chat with you or practice English, be careful. You could be taken for a ride.

Flaking Is Less of an Issue Here

Unlike dating in the west where you can expect a sizable amount of girls to play games and flake on you, girls in Vietnam however take a more serious approach to dating.

Out of ten girls, you can expect no more than 3-4 girls to flake on you here, but even then there are usually signs that tell you the probability of getting flaked on is high. Now while you can’t prevent flaking 100% of the time, If you learn how to screen properly you can save a significant amount of time and reduce your chances of getting flaked on.

Look for signs of:

  • Interest
  • Investment in the conversation
  • Enthusiasm
  • How fast or often does she reply back
  • Etc…

Even though flaking is still present here in Vietnam, lining up a new date shouldn’t be too hard.

And usually depending on how you handle the flake, sometimes girls will come around and then suggest another meetup for a future date.

So don’t sweat it!


Online dating in Vietnam offers guys a fast and easy way to meet tonnes of girls here in Vietnam. You’ll be able to meet a variety of different girls from all walks of life, that are more serious about dating.

Although a language barrier exists making communication difficult, the balanced demographics over here in Vietnam plus high competition levels among females means you won’t be dating below your level and instead be able to date quality girls.

Now things aren’t perfect though.

You will still need to contend with time wasters and gold diggers that love to target naive foreign guys.

Then there’s the issue of girls using either fake photos or heavily photo-shopped pics.

So be careful!

Furthermore, there’s flaking. However, flaking levels are much lower compared to western countries and there are ways to minimize its impact.

No country is perfect when it comes to online dating, but the culture and environment makes it much more favorable for men to date here.

If your interested in learning more about the best websites for meeting cute Vietnamese girls then check out these two articles that I wrote:

Best Online Dating Websites and Apps in Vietnam

The Most Comprehensive VietnamCupid Review You’ll Ever Read!

Let me know what your online dating experience was like here in Vietnam.

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