Dating

Dating in Vietnam For Foreigners: What’s It Like?

Intro

A lot of my readers often ask me what is dating in Vietnam for foreigners like?

Is dating in Vietnam for foreigners as easy as people make it out to be?

What about English levels here in Vietnam?

Will I able to communicate with Vietnamese girls?

And what about all of those horror stories that I heard from somebody’s so and so getting taken to the cleaners?

Is that going to happen to me as well?

This article serves to give you a glimpse into what dating in Vietnam for foreigners is like based on my own experience as well as those of my friends.

Here is a list of things you will most likely experience when dating in Vietnam as a foreigner:

  • People will think that you rich and well off
  • Your expected to be a provider
  • People will try to introduce dates to you
  • Language barriers
  • Girls will be curious about you
  • You will attract certain types of Vietnamese women
  • You will have trouble screening girls
  • Cross cultural misunderstandings are plenty
  • Getting dates is relatively easy
  • People will stare at you
  • Dates can be ridiculously cheap
  • Expect neediness and clinginess

People Will Think That Your Rich and Well Off

Money in a suitcase

If your from the west, especially from a first world country, people will often times think that your loaded and well off.

It’s as if people have this belief that foreigners have toilets made out of solid gold in their houses and that there is an unlimited amount of money in their bank accounts.

It doesn’t matter that you might be busting your chops working some 80 hour work week just to make ends meet.

As soon as you land here in Vietnam, a lot of locals view you as a piece of gold.

When they find out that your from abroad, in their minds they picture Ferrari’s, mansions, yachts, and greenbacks.

Just speaking with you will make them salivate.

A lot of the females that you meet during your stay here in Vietnam will also share in this mentality and romanticized view of foreigners being rich.

This also means that you will be ripe for being taken advantage of if your not careful.

To further perpetuate this myth of foreigners being loaded, a lot of foreigners that do come to Vietnam like to show off their “wealth” to gain face.

Its a lot more easier to splurge when your on vacation for only 2-4 weeks vs actually living here.

Never mind the fact that they are just your average joe living off a middle class income, when they come to Vietnam they spend like a king for their whole 2 weeks while here.

This is the same reason why you got 30k millionaires in the west.

Keeping up appearances is of utmost importance for maintaining face.

Your Expected to be a Provider

dating in Vietnam for foreigners: Vietnamese girl in green dress

Dating here in Vietnam is as traditional as it gets, and what this means is that traditional gender roles are embraced.

Most Vietnamese women go out onto the dating world with the sole purpose of nabbing herself a husband and eventually starting a family with him.

Unlike in the west where things like looks, height, how jacked and fit you are play much bigger roles, here in Vietnam women are looking for a nice secure provider to settle down with.

In a Vietnamese woman’s eyes, a man purpose is to start a family with her and provide for the family.

This means at the very minimum being able to provide her and your future children a roof over their heads and the basic life necessities like food and clothing.

Now if your trying to go after higher quality girls, expect her standards to be higher. Things like your wealth, how good looking you are, your education levels, family connections, etc, all come into play.

Remember, Vietnam is still a developing country with a lot of work still left to do to get it up to speed with the rest of the developed world. The country was extremely poor and ripe with poverty just a few decades ago.

When your fighting tooth and nail to survive, things like looks, personality, and height get thrown out the window.

Instead importance is placed on money and status.

People Will Try to Introduce Dates to You

dating in Vietnam for foreigners: Vietnamese girl with flowers

Locals love to play matchmaker.

Anytime someone hears that your single, they will quickly suggest that they might know someone or will ask around to hook you up with a date.

Now whether or not the person they are trying to introduce you to is a quality mate, is another story.

However, if your not a picky person when it comes to dating prospects like me, then prepare to have lots of locals try to introduce someone to you.

You may even ask around and receive several introductions as well.

On my second trip back to Vietnam, I was introduced to no less than 5-6 girls within the first month of arriving here in Vietnam.

Some of the girls were cute and while others were meh.

But at least I didn’t need to put too much effort into meeting girls.

Language Barriers

When your dating in another foreign country, language barriers are to be expected.

Especially in a place like Vietnam where English levels are quite low. Outside of the touristy areas, most Vietnamese girls speak very little English, if any at all.

If your trying to date the local women then you have two choices:

  1. Go look for the limited amount of Vietnamese girls that do speak English.
  2. Go and learn some Vietnamese so that you can converse with the local Vietnamese women here

let’s discuss each one:

If you decide to go with option #1 then just know that your dating pool is significantly reduced. In addition, if you live and work out in the boonies, maybe like 1% of the girls living there if at all, speak English.

Your pretty much confined to only be dating girls living in the cities like Ho Chi Minh City and Hanoi, and even then, the pool is quite small.

Some foreign men seem to think that just because English is the lingua franca in the world that everyone is expected to know and speak decent enough English to converse with them. They then go on and whine and complain about how they are having language barriers and can’t get dates yet refuse to study the local language.

Here’s a perfect example of this mentality.

Reddit guy whining and complaining
sexpat whining

This brings me to option #2.

If you decide to learn Vietnamese, then you will have access to a much larger pool of Vietnamese women here in Vietnam.

Now you don’t need to be fluent to be conversing with the local Vietnamese women, just knowing several hundred words in your vocabulary will be enough for securing dates and getting the basic ideas across.

If on the other hand, your thinking about settling down with a Vietnamese girl, then one of you guys will need to spend a bit more time improving your language skills.

Either you will need to freshen up on your Vietnamese or she will need to start studying English.

Here’s a link to an article that I wrote where I discuss this topic in more detail:

Do you need to speak Vietnamese to date Vietnamese girls?

Girls Will Be Curious About You

dating in Vietnam for foreigners: Vietnamese girl wearing hat

When you first arrive here in Vietnam, you will notice that a lot of Vietnamese girls will take what appears to be an instant interest in you.

However, don’t mistake attraction with curiosity.

A lot of this so called instant “interest” is in fact just platonic curiosity.

You can of course turn this into something more but if your just counting on this to see whether or not a Vietnamese girl likes you, you will be sadly disappointed.

A lot of these girls don’t come into contact with a foreigner often, and sometimes it may even be their first time meeting a foreigner.

This is why they appear so “interested” in talking with you.

This “interest” or curiosity is magnified when you meet a girl that is looking to improve her English levels.

Often times these girls will appear to be quite enthusiastic to exchange numbers and even talk with you over the phone. However, once you start trying to get them out during the evening for a date that’s when they turn cold.

I cannot count the number of times where I initially thought a girl was into me, only to be disappointed when I tried to turn up the heat and shift from platonic to romantic.

This is why its very important to try and get them out on a date as soon as possible to weed out the girls that are only curious about you and looking to practice English vs the ones with a genuine interest in you.

When in doubt, always escalate things and see how she reacts!

Types of Women You Will Attract

dating in Vietnam for foreigners: Vietnamese with flower

Being a foreigner here in Vietnam, you will most likely attract certain types of girls.

This rings especially true if you look like a typical foreigner vs an overseas Asian foreigner who pretty much can date any type of girl here as long as they can communicate.

When your trying to date in Vietnam as a foreigner, you will generally attract the following types of girls in your dating life:

  • Girls seeking rich guys: These are your classic sugar daddy seeking girls that demand the best that money can buy. Expect these girls to be quite westernized, have bad attitude, and be very high maintenance. If your relying on online dating to meet girls, you will meet a tonne of these girls on there. Using a simple app like Tinder, you can expect to see 2-3 of these girls for every 10 swipes that you make on there.
  • Westernized girls: These are your classic foreigner hunter type of girl that loves everything foreign. Don’t expect to find too many of these girls here in Vietnam. These girls usually speak decent English and had some sort of previous dealing with foreigners in the past whether it be an ex-boyfriend or some friends from abroad.
  • Left over women: These girls are usually 28 years old and upwards. They are pretty much on last call here in Vietnam. These Vietnamese women swindled their late teens and early to mid 20’s moving up the corporate ladder and are now paying the ultimate price, as a lot of local men refuse to date them now. These girls are now setting their eyes on foreign men because they think foreign men are more open and less closed off to the idea of dating an older women. Usually these girls are university educated and have decent careers. Most of them can speak decent English too.
  • University Students: Most of these girls will have studied English at some point, however their English speaking skills are quite limited. You will find these girls usually hanging out at one of the many parks that they go to in groups with the hopes of finding a foreigner to practice their English or one of the many language exchange clubs scattered across the country.
  • Girls looking to escape poverty aka mail order brides: These girls generally live out in the boonies in small rural towns and villages. Nearly all of them tend to come from a poor background with poverty rampant throughout their life. Most of these girls are eager to marry a foreigner because of the previous mentioned “all foreigners are rich” myth she heard somewhere. These girls usually marriage out of necessity to fulfill filial piety to her family rather than for love.

You Will Have Trouble Screening Girls

A lot of foreign men when they first arrive in Vietnam become instantly smitten with the sweet charm of the first Vietnamese girl that shows them some interest.

But little do they know what sort of shady past their new girlfriend has.

When your new and fresh off the plane, without an ounce of understanding of the local culture, your ripe for being taken advantage of.

Whereas a local guy can instantly tell the difference between a normal Vietnamese girl and a “bad” Vietnamese girl, a lot of foreign men can’t.

This is why you always hear those horror stories from foreign men that dated or married some Vietnamese girl and then got their lives ruined by them.

They didn’t know how to screen properly!

Things like:

  • What time do they go to bed at
  • Do they travel often
  • The type of friends they hang out with
  • The amount of foreign men they have been exposed to
  • The job
  • etc

These are all good telltale signs about whether or not your dating a normal Vietnamese girl or a “bad” Vietnamese girl.

You will no doubt in your journey of dating various Vietnamese girls encounter at least 1-2 bad eggs in the basket. This is perfectly fine and normal and may actually be good experience for you.

Just make sure that you don’t end up letting them sink their claws into you and get hitched with them and you’ll be fine.

Cross Cultural Misunderstandings Are Plenty

Vietnamese girl playing with leafs

If your used to dating girls in the west then your going to be in for a huge culture shock.

Forget going dutch on dates, your going to be expected to pay for it.

How about casual dating and relationships?

Forget about it!

Most Vietnamese girls will try to lock you down quite soon after dating compared to girls in the west.

Is being overly confident a good thing or seen as making you appear like a jerk?

And what about public displays of affection?

These are the things your going to be faced with when your dating in Vietnam as a foreigner.

You will no doubt fumble a few big cultural no’s no’s while your getting used to dating the local cute Vietnamese girls here.

Getting Dates is Relatively Easy

Vietnamese girl playing with grass

Getting dates here in Vietnam is relatively easy, however if your looking for top shelf quality, prepare to work your butt off to get it.

You can use a combination of online dating, social circle, meeting girls that you open while out and about, clubs, etc.

There’s so many different ways.

There was one point where I was pretty much going out on a date each day with a new girl for an entire week or 2 straight.

That’s just how easy it was lining up dates here.

The only problem with this approach is that you will eventually burn yourself out.

There’s only so much energy and charm that you can put out before the fuel tank runs empty.

Instead, I would recommend a more sustainable approach of between 1-3 dates a week, which shouldn’t be hard at all getting.

If your interested in meeting Vietnamese girls today then check out my article here to learn about the best website for meeting Vietnamese girls.

People Will Stare at You

old lady staring at people

If your a foreigner and look like one, especially if your a non-Asian foreigner, be prepared to have locals stare at you when your out with your Vietnamese date.

Hell, they might even stare at you even when your alone outside.

I remember one time when my relative was filling up our motorbike at a gas station, there was some woman no more than 5 feet away from me, staring straight at me.

Her eyes were completely glued onto me, as if she was in some trance and couldn’t help herself.

I felt like a caged animal locked up in a zoo with spectators eyeing me left and right.

Either she thought I was the most handsome guy she ever laid eyes upon and couldn’t take her eyes off of me or I was probably the first foreigner she ever saw in her existence.

I would like to think it was the former but it was most likely the latter.

It was very awkward and made me extremely uncomfortable.

I don’t even think she flinched at all, even as I drove off.

I still get the occasional stare here and there but nowadays I just let it roll off my shoulders unless of course its excessive staring like that crazy woman that I mentioned.

Dates Can be Ridiculously Cheap

If you’ve ever gone out on dates in the west then you know they can be quite expensive.

A few drinks here.

Two entrees, and dessert there.

Along with a pair of movie tickets and your wallet’s toast for the night.

In Vietnam however, you’d only be paying a 1/3-1/4 of the price.

Taking your date out for a dinner at a mid-range restaurant probably won’t cost you more than $20. Even cheaper if you visit the thousands of street food vendors around the country.

2 drinks at a local bar will set you back $5-10 bucks

And a pair of movie tickets will cost you around $10 in total.

movie ticket

And this is assuming you are doing the traditional straight forward movie and dinner dates.

There’s so many attractions and things happening around the country that you can do for dirt cheap and even free here that your dating costs will likely be even lower.

Now with this being said, stay away from western establishments if your looking to save money. Most western type of joints catering to either foreigners or locals looking to try western food is incredibly overpriced.

I’m talking subpar low quality food with high sky prices.

For example: a medium sized pizza with barely any cheese and tomato sauce, along with skimped out meat toppings will run you about $10 usd here.

A bowl of pasta barely enough to feed a 10 year old will cost around the same.

If you would like find out more information about dating costs here in Vietnam, check out this article:

Everything you need to know about dating costs in Vietnam

Expect Neediness and Clinginess

Girl in white dress

When you start seeing a Vietnamese girl on a regular basis, expect to have daily conversations with them.

This can be anything from texting, calling, and video chatting or a combination of all three.

A significant portion of your time will be spent maintaining the relationship with Vietnamese girls.

If you refuse to partake in this ordeal, be prepared to deal with a spiteful and angry Vietnamese girl that will accuse you of not caring about her and being serious about the relationship.

Make no mistake Vietnamese girls can be quite high maintenance once your in a relationship with them.

The deeper you get in a relationship with a Vietnamese girl, the more clingy and needy she becomes.

if your not careful, she will suck as much attention out of you as you are willing to give her.

This is why its best to set boundaries early on in the relationship.

In addition, soon after becoming a couple, she will expect you to usher the 3 forbidden words “I love you” or else…

Conclusion

Well there you have it folks.

A glimpse into what its like dating in Vietnam for foreigners.

Here’s a quick recap of what we covered in this article:

  • People will think that you rich and well off
  • Your expected to be a provider
  • People will try to introduce dates to you
  • Language barriers
  • Girls will be curious about you
  • You will attract certain types of Vietnamese women
  • You will have trouble screening girls
  • Cross cultural misunderstandings are plenty
  • Getting dates is relatively easy
  • People will stare at you
  • Dates can be ridiculously cheap
  • Expect neediness and clinginess

Now after reading this article, you should have a good idea of what to expect when dating in Vietnam as a foreigner.

Hopefully with this list at your disposal, you will be better able to navigate the dating scene here in Vietnam and come out on top.

Let me know in the comments before what your experience was like dating in Vietnam as a foreigner.

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