Common Vietnamese Girlfriend Problems and How to Fix Them


Who doesn’t want a stress-free and happy relationship with their partner?

But sometimes things aren’t as rosy as we’d like them to be.

Learning how to navigate and resolve problems in a relationship with a Vietnamese woman could be the difference between bonding closer together or the beginning of the end of the relationship.

If you’re pulling your hair out trying to figure out what to do when trouble comes knocking on the door with your girlfriend then this article’s for you.

On today’s article, we’re going to discuss common Vietnamese girlfriend problems and how to fix them.

She Is Asking You for Money

If your Vietnamese girlfriend is asking you for money, then congratulations, you got yourself a gold digging Vietnamese girlfriend.

When your girlfriend is asking you for money in the relationship, it means at some point or another, you failed to screen her properly.

Unless its a real emergency and she doesn’t have the money to pay for it upfront, like a car accident or something, don’t give her a penny.

You aren’t her sponsor and owe her nothing.

Lots of guys fall under the trap of thinking they will just become her knight in shining armor only to get taken to the cleaners later down the line.

Then there are other guys who are under the illusion that giving monthly allowances to their girlfriend is completely normal.

Here’s a newsflash for all of you guys that do this, it’s not NORMAL!

When you begin dating a real genuine Vietnamese girl that isn’t interested in your money then you will understand how dating actually works here.

Check out this article here to learn more about Vietnamese dating culture in Vietnam.

Vietnamese girlfriend commons in white dress

How to fix:

At this point you have two options:

  1. You don’t give her any money and tell her that she isn’t going to get any money from you for being in a relationship with you. She will either accept this and things will return back to normal or she will resent you and start looking for new prospects. The latter is more likely to happen. This is completely fine because you don’t want someone to be with you just because she sees you as a sugar daddy.
  2. You break up with her and go find someone new. This is a better safer option.

She’s Angry With You

One day everything seems great with her but then suddenly the next day she seems angry with you like a person suffering from bipolar disorder.

What’s up with that?

This leaves most guys dazed and confused as to what they did to upset their Vietnamese girlfriend.

Here are the most likely causes:

  • Feels like you don’t care about her
  • Horny
  • You did something that upset her

Feels Like You Don’t Care About Her

Signs and symptoms:

  • Texting/calling frequency will stop or decrease dramatically
  • Interest level drops
  • Happens abruptly
  • Feels unsure about the relationship with you
  • She’s invested more in the relationship then you are

How to fix:

A natural reaction for most guys in a situation like this is to go chasing after their girlfriend.

Neediness and clinginess are kicked up several notches in the hopes of getting their girlfriend back.

However, this is a bad move because you’ve now given up all of the power in the relationship and she has you by the balls.

Also her respect and level of interest for you will take a nosedive.

This is why you see tonnes of guys lose their girlfriends when they are chasing her when she is trying to break free and get some space.

Rather than go chasing after her and apologizing for everything you did or didn’t do, go and distant yourself from her as well.

Whatever she is doing, do the exact same thing and mirror her behavior.

In a few days or weeks, she will come crawling back to you. At that time, you can make amends with her and talk things out.

Vietnamese girlfriend problems, girl looking at you


Why is she angry?

It could be stress-related.

It could be that she’s on her period.

Or that her favorite character on a tv show died.

Who the hell knows!

The only thing that you can be sure of is that she has a lot of pent up sexual energy that needs to be released.

This sexual frustration and inability to get relieved is then manifested as her being angry and irritable. This is especially true with girls that have high sex drives.

Signs and symptoms:

  • Been a while since you both had sex
  • Highly irritable and sensitive to even the smallest of things
  • Once sex is over, she returns back to her old self

How to fix:

This one’s a pretty easy fix. Just help her release that pent up sexual frustration in the bedroom that has been rattling her emotions and she’ll soon return back to the sweet loving girlfriend you have always known.

I remember once my girlfriend got angry at me for not wanting to go watch some stupid cartoon movie at the movie theater with her even though I told her I would go see it with her later that evening. She later changed her mind and instead chose to just sulk and complain about it all evening.

I could tell that she was abnormally irritable that day and that almost anything I did would have caused her to get angry at me.

So I did what any loving boyfriend would do, I calmed her down and made passionate love to her.

Once all of that sexual energy was gone, she was back to her old self.

Vietnamese girlfriend problems: horny

You Did Something To Upset Her

This one’s pretty generic.

Maybe you embarrassed her in front of her friends at a party.

Or you forgot to feed her pet dog.

Whatever it is, you’ve made her upset.

Signs and symptoms:

  • Angry and irritable
  • Goes cold afterwards

How to fix:

You need to quickly figure out what exactly it was that caused her to go bonkers on you. Perhaps she mentioned it during her fit of rage if you weren’t too scared of her to notice.

You need to have open communication with her and discuss exactly what the problem was.

If it was your fault, then own up to the mistake and then work out how to prevent it from happening again in the future.

Insecurity and Jealousy

Trust is one of the cornerstone’s of having a healthy relationship.

Are there certain things that you do that cause your girlfriend not to trust you?

Does she ask to check your phone?

Always going out?

Are you breaking promises?

Flirting with other girls in front of her?

These things will make your girlfriend suspicious about you seeing other girls behind her back and prompt her to get even clingier or snoop around on your phone.

Cause: Lack of Trust

Signs and symptoms:

  • Questions your actions
  • Makes accusations about you seeing other girls
  • Wants to check your phone
  • Unexpectedly calls or video calls you
  • Texts you non-stop when away from you

How to fix:

Gain her trust and set the right expectations from the get-go.

Set expectations early on in the relationship. If your not a daily texter, let her know that and if she accepts to continue the relationship then that’s on her.

Did you mention that you have a guy’s night out and sometimes you can’t be hanging out with her everyday?

Vietnamese girls can get really clingy, and I mean really clingy!

If you prefer to have some time to yourself to either hang out with your friends or some alone time then you better let her know early on in the relationship.

Establish boundaries in the beginning. Let her know what both of you are willing and unwilling to compromise on.

Things like are you going to allow her to check your phone and vice versa?

Early on in our relationship my girlfriend was going through my stuff in my apartment, so I called her out on it.

She tried to use the excuse that she was “helping to clean” my place but I knew what she was up to.

Nowadays she rarely goes through my stuff because I had demonstrated to her through my actions that I was congruent and that certain boundaries were established.

Be congruent with your actions. If you say you’re going to do something then do it!

Have a date scheduled with her on Friday? Show up and don’t flake on her.

Show her through your actions that you back up your words.

If you haven’t done any of these things then its time to have a little one-on-one with her and let her know what things in the relationship that you guys need to be doing in order to prevent this from ever happening again.

Vietnamese girl reading a book

Girlfriend Suddenly Acts Cold

Cause: She sees the relationship as being stagnant yet she wants things to progress. She is unable to get you to move things along.

Signs and symptoms:

  • Was warm one day but then ice cold the next
  • Texts you less or not at all
  • When confronted about her sudden change in behavior will tell you nothing is wrong

How to fix:

There is only really one way to fix things and that is to progress in the relationship and give her what she needs.

Nearly all women want to progress in a relationship while us men prefer to remain in the status quo.

This could be her asking to meet your family, move in together, or even getting married.

You’ll notice that if you do decide to take the necessary steps towards moving the relationship forward, she will suddenly return back to her old self.

If you’re not prepared to make these commitments yet then know that your relationship is at risk.

This is why it’s important at the beginning of the relationship to take things slow rather then go all guns blazing in if your not looking to make huge commitments with her anytime soon.

The more often you see her, the more stuff you do together, will only convince her to expect things to progress like this indefinitely.

If you’re always seeing her and always talking on the phone with her every day and then suddenly you start to cut back on doing this, red flags will go off on her head.

She will start to believe that you are losing interest in her and that the relationship is reverting backwards.

In her eyes, it will mean that you stopped caring about her.

Soon you’ll get the line “We used to do these things together but now…”.

Just know that whatever you do from the onset of the relationship, you’re expected to keep doing those things.

This is why it’s a good idea to cut back on doing all of these things in the beginning. You can then slowly increase the frequency of the activities and she will feel the relationship is progressing.

For example, rather than see her nearly every day when you first start dating, try only seeing her once or twice a week at most. After a few months increase it to 2-3 times a week and so on and so forth.

She will feel happy that things are progressing at a steady pace and you won’t get none of that whining about how you don’t care about her anymore.

Compare this to seeing her 5-6 days a week when you first start dating. Eventually, things come up or you lose steam from seeing her so often and not giving yourself some personal time.

When you do take this time off and cut back on seeing her to 2-3 days a week, she will then throw a hissy-fit and accuse you of not caring about her.

See the difference?

In the first scenario, you are actually seeing her less yet she feels happier about the relationship.

Compare this with the second scenario where you have been giving her all of your time for months and maybe years now, yet now she is upset with you for wanting to slow things down.

Lastly, know that she will always expect the relationship to be moving forward to the next step.

If you’ve just moved in together then know the next step might be marriage, or if your married, she will expect you guys to start having children in the future.

If you can’t see yourself progressing forward in the relationship with her, then you need to accept the fact that things will eventually end.

Are you ok with this? Or are you willing to give your girlfriend what she needs to remain in the relationship?

There was one girl that I was seeing casually for a few months. She wanted to move things forward like become boyfriend and girlfriend and eventually get married, however I had different plans.

She started to get whiny and complained a lot about how I didn’t see her more often and text her more often.

In the end I had no choice but to cut her loose so that she could find what she needed with someone else.

It would have been selfish of me to keep stringing her along and wasting her few precious years left before hitting the wall.

Vietnamese girlfriend wearing black

She Complains About Sex

I get it

Sleeping with the same person every day of the week can slowly start to get boring.

You’ve already seen each other naked a million times already and now sex just seems like an obligation rather than desire.

But unfortunately, she still has needs in the bedroom and desires a man to make her wildest fantasies come true.

Doing the same things with her over and over again just gets tiring for her.

She longs for a man that knows his way around in the bedroom and can fulfill her needs.

Cause: Boring lackluster sex with her

Signs and symptoms:

  • Appears bored during sex
  • Not as easily aroused as before
  • Doesn’t initiate sex anymore
  • May even deny you sex when you want to be intimate with her

How to fix: She wants to get aroused and is looking at you for the answers. You need to up your bedroom game skills and keep her on her toes when having sex with you.

Talk with each other and find out what turns each of you guys on.

My girlfriend is great at being verbal about what she likes and what turns her on. This makes my job easier when we’re having sex, and most of the time I can get her to climax.

It wasn’t always like this though. The first few times we had sex, I couldn’t get her to climax. But we talked about what each of us likes and doesn’t like and this has made sex for the both of us so much better.

In addition, I incorporated a few props into the mix that kept things fresh.

Rather than doing the same old boring routine of her coming over, you guys having dinner then watching a movie on the couch or bed, try to do something completely different and unexpected.

This could be you having your way with her as soon as she walks through the door.

Or you using some props such as food or ice when getting intimate with her.

Show your girlfriend that she is still desired and is making you equally as aroused as the first time you had sex with her.

Make love to her as if your life depended on it.

Make these simple changes and soon enough, your girlfriend won’t be able to get her hands off of you in the bedroom!

Girl wearing white


In this article, we covered several common Vietnamese girlfriend problems that most guys face.

They are:

  • She’s asking for money
  • She’s angry with you
  • Jealousy and insecurity
  • Your girlfriend starts acting cold
  • She complains about sex

Having girlfriend problems is completely normal and everybody in a relationship goes through it.

The issue however is, how do you resolve it so that both sides come out winning.

Being able to tackle these Vietnamese girlfriend problems head-on and come out the winner will not only make your relationships stronger but make your girlfriend more attracted to you.

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  • Reply
    Ahmed Shawkat
    December 31, 2019 at 8:21 pm

    Asking money is an essential part of the relationship between Vietnamese girls and foreigners

    Although I pay her room rent and even her Motorbike fuel…but every month I must pay her or she will activate (No money, No honey policy)
    I’m 33 years old from Egypt, Living in Vietnam since 2016
    Its HARD to find a girl who is not in conditional love with foriegners

    • Reply
      January 1, 2020 at 1:18 am

      This is definitely not true at all. One of my expat close friend’s girlfriend never once asked him for money. In fact, she buys him stuff and drives him around the city for free on her motorbike.

      None of the girls that I dated long-term ever asked me for money, including my now girlfriend. In fact, she sometimes pays for dinner and refuses to let me pay.

      If your girlfriend is trying to make your relationship into some sort of transaction ie. no money, no honey then you don’t have a real relationship at all. The reason why your in this type of relationship to begin with is because you failed to screen girls properly. I’ve gone out on dates before with girls that attempted these sort of things on the first date ie. buy me that $30 cake for my birthday, go take me to eat at that 5 star upscale buffet restaurant, let’s go shopping and I usually give them the boot within 15 minutes on the date.

      My advice is you need to get rid of this girl fast, and go out and date a few different normal girls.

      How do you know whether or not she’s a normal girl?

      -You didn’t meet her at a bar/club/massage place
      -She wasn’t dressed provocatively on her online profile pics or when you go out
      -Has a good job and is educated
      -Doesn’t go out past 11 at night
      -Her friends all appear normal
      -She doesn’t drink or does very little of it, doesn’t smoke or do drugs

      You can read some of the articles on the site where I discuss warnings signs to look out for.

      • Reply
        Ahmed Shawkat
        January 4, 2020 at 11:09 pm

        Thanks for your reply.
        I already scanned her before getting in this relationship & I was married to Thai girl for 5 years so I might have an experience but I really wish to find such girls you been talking about
        Although I am Muslim and Arabian
        We take care of our women too much but in return we expect some sympathy or coop from the woman side (for example) sometimes in life you got issues or delays in your money flow, here where your partner girl shows her loyalty by bieng patience and supportive..unfortunately in my case its completely different that what made me keen to read more about Vietnamese girls nature and I have seen a lot of bad cases …I hope I can find the good GF as soon as possible..

        Thanks for your response

        • Reply
          January 14, 2020 at 4:55 am

          I’m getting the sense that your in a rush to get into a relationship with a good Vietnamese girl, you wrote “I hope I can find the good GF as soon as possible”, which might be why your still running into those types of Vietnamese girls that I always mention to avoid dating. Finding a good Vietnamese girl that has wife potential and is loyal and supportive is not as easy as you might think, and this applies not only for girls in Vietnam but anywhere in the world. Just to give you an example, I had to date about a dozen different Vietnamese girls before I met my current GF, and even before her with my previous Exes, I had to date a lot of other girls as well before meeting them. Love takes time, and should never be rushed otherwise you will find yourself 10 years later in a marriage that makes you unhappy or even a divorce. Not only do you need to worry about a girl’s motives, you need to consider things like her education levels, income levels, lifestyle, personality, medical history, and whether or not they are compatible for you.

          Although I am sure that a lot of the girls that I dated previously would make great girlfriends, I wanted to find one that was the best candidate and that would match up well with my lifestyle and personality.

          I think in your case, you should stop dating girls that come from a low income bracket and instead focus on ones that are either middle class or upper middle class if possible so that she will need depend on you to support her financially. Remember to never rush these things and take your time. Good luck!

    • Reply
      Jay Jarrard
      June 3, 2021 at 12:04 am

      I met my VN girlfriend here in the U.S. She got stuck due to covid. She moved in with me for 5 months before going back to VN. It was the best 5 months of my life! I don’t think you can fake the kind of love I felt from her. I fell HARD bought a ring and asked her to marry me. We drank beer together a little bit on the weekends but when she got home, she started drinking ALL THE TIME. Going out with many older guy friends. She always video chatted with me and introduced me to these people but still, I thought it was excessive and I didn’t really like it. I’m not out drinking with other women!. While she was here, her motorbike was stolen so I bought her a new one. I also paid to have her teeth fixed and although she never asked for money, I sent it. Quite a lot! I asked her to try and get a job but seems she doesn’t want to. She is college educated and I heard right now it is hard to find work. I don’t know, she can tell me anything because I’m not familiar with Vietnam. I’m in love with the VN girl I met HERE. Not the one I know now. She is mean, and can’t say “I love you” she says they don’t really say that until marriage. I’m so confused! I was the only one she had besides a family that she knew here. Maybe that’s why our love was so great HERE and now it’s turning horrible. I already submitted the k-1 Visa paperwork but I don’t know if she really cares. Maybe I’ve been duped. Right now we are broken up. I guess if she really loves me she will call. I’ve worked with the Vietnamese community here in the U.S. for over 25 years but this is the first VN girl I’ve ever dated.The man that introduced us is a good VN man but he didn’t know her that well. I just don’t know what to do, she may be a gold digger. She had a good job before she came here, that is how she was able to get a visa to come to the U.S. Also, she didn’t HAVE to go home, she chose to but she was gone almost a year and said she missed her family. Her family is low income. who knows what to do. I’m so upset. Seems like we can’t get along anymore. It has been 8 months of long distance relationship and that will take its toll on anyone. Damnit! There is no way for me to even go see her or I would have been there already. Maybe it’s over now and I don’t need to worry anymore? I’m just rambling on… sorry

      • Reply
        Viet Kieu Dating
        June 4, 2021 at 3:35 am

        “She is mean, and can’t say “I love you” she says they don’t really say that until marriage” Bullshit!

        From what you’ve described, she sounds like a gold digger and you’re being taken for a ride.

  • Reply
    April 13, 2020 at 2:20 am

    You said that your gf has never asked you for money and even gave you rides on her motorcycle. That’s good to hear. But what if it is all a show and she’s patiently fishing for the ultimate fish – a marriage with you? A marriage gives the other party the legal rights to your property and possessions as well as the opportunity to change citizenship. And that’s the ultimate aim she has…. Basically, do you not think that she’s just a more sophisticated and patient ‘fisherman’?

    I have had a similar case and when we were breaking up, she asked for money and said that I had wasted her time.

    Honestly quite jaded.

    • Reply
      April 13, 2020 at 3:15 am

      Good question.

      There are some girls that play the long game and try to win your trust over before trying to cash in.

      There are a few ways you can alleviate this issue:

      1. You tell them that you don’t intend on moving back to your country after getting married and intend on staying in Vietnam. See how they react. I had one girl that I was seeing for a few months, immediately complain about how Vietnam was poor and that it wasn’t good to live in, she failed the test.

      2. You may want to spend a few years living with her in Vietnam first even if you had plans to take her back home with you. Because girls know that they have a limited time to get married, most of the ones that are trying to use you for citizenship will balk at the idea of spending the rest of their life in Vietnam. Soon they will leave you to look for new fish to prey on.

      3. You throw them tests every once in a while and observe how they react. Say for example you need help with something and you ask them for help, see how they behave. Some things are a lot harder to fake and you can really tell a genuine girl from one just acting. Does she always cling to you and ask you about your day, and do little things for you without you asking? Does she always try to flatter you with fake smiles and fake compliments?

      4. Never tell a girl that you are loaded or have money. A lot of guys when they come to Vietnam try to act like they are all millionaires and rich and show off. They take girls out to expensive restaurants or on vacation to 5 star resorts, then they later complain about how they are always attracting girls only interested in their money. If they ask you just tell them that you make a modest income. Girls that like you for you won’t care about these things and will even help you out with the bills sometimes. When I go on vacation with my gf, she sometimes splits the bills with me like on hotels, food, etc without me even asking her for any money.

      If the girl that you broke up with was asking you for money then that means you failed screening her properly. When I broke up with a Vietnamese girl, never once have I been asked any money at all.

      Trying to find a good Vietnamese girl to marry is not a sprint, but a marathon.

  • Reply
    February 25, 2021 at 1:11 am

    Hello there.. What you described , a lot of it is absolutely correct. A decent vietnamese girl won’t demand material things from you. I am an asian and had lived and work in vietnam for several years. Now being married to a vietnamese girl for 9 years. During my courting days my present wife never ever once demanded monetary things from me . It is true that they are very close with the family. They are hardworking and Loyal . As my marriage progressed i myself bought Land for her in vietnam . Now we are Living in my own country though i liked vietnam immensely .

    • Reply
      Viet Kieu Dating
      February 25, 2021 at 3:39 pm

      Definitely! A lot of guys meet gold diggers and pros/semi-pros and then equate it with all Vietnamese girls expecting the guy to give them money and a monthly allowance. Congrats on your marriage!

  • Reply
    January 17, 2023 at 9:25 am

    Watch the flags and don’t ignore them! That’s all I’m gonna say. The mask will slip from time to time and you’ll see the real her! BELIEVE WHAT SHE ACCIDENTALLY SHOWED YOU.

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