With the desecration of dating in the western world, some guys have given up on dating all together while others are making a last stand in an effort to find a beautiful feminine and traditional girl through the internet.
With the world becoming more and more connected, communicating with a girl half way around the world doesn’t seem quite as challenging as it used to be. Furthermore, being in a long distance relationship is becoming more and more common.
Its fairly common nowadays to find men using the internet to locate a girlfriend or wife from a foreign country such as Vietnam.
In fact, you may be in this exact situation right now.
Trying to maintain a regular relationship in person is already hard enough, but try maintaining a long distance relationship when your both thousands of miles apart and you’ll quickly find out that its not all it’s cracked up to be.
Long distance dating can work however the amount of effort and patience required to make it work is quite astronomical.
Although long distance dating with a Vietnamese girl can work, in my opinion, I don’t think you should get into long distance dating with a Vietnamese girl or any girl of that matter unless you have absolutely no choice, and here’s why:
Long Distance Relationship Problems
I believe that you should know exactly what your getting yourself into when deciding to pursue a long distance relationship with a Vietnamese girl. Here are somethings that can break and ruin a long distance relationship:
Trust and Jealously
Your going to need to put a lot of faith into each other. This problem is compounded when your back home and your dating options have essentially dried up if your coming from the west, unless your willing to settle for sub-par women that are well below your sexual market value.
Meanwhile, you know every thirsty guy, is going to be hounding at her and she will have to fend them off for an indefinite period of time. Just like you, other foreign guys are heading down to Vietnam to chase after the local women. Then you got the local guys thrown into the mix as well.
Your trust in her will be tested to no end.
Can you live with the thought that while your at home on a friday evening that she could potentially be out there with her friends at a party where she gets introduced to some guy by one of her friends and remains loyal to you?
There will definitely be a difference in the level of investment and time commitment due to the distance and timezone differences. Your partner’s commitment and loyalty will be called into question when they decides to spend more time with other people rather then with you.
Will you be able to believe everything she is saying to you?
And what about jealously?
Vietnamese girls are known as being highly jealous. In fact, my girlfriend gets jealous of me paying more attention to my computer then her. She joked that the computer should be my girlfriend instead of her one time.
What if your girlfriend sees some random platonic friend of yours on facebook like a post that you make and freaks out?
I got into an argument with my girlfriend one time about her getting jealous over some random chick that added me from a language exchange website writing “welcome to Vietnam” on my facebook wall after I had arrived here.
I had actually known that girl before I started to see my girlfriend but never even met her in person. Yet my girlfriend got jealous over it and created a hissy fit.
Likewise, will you be able to maintain your cool if you start seeing likes and comments from guys writing to her?
What about those d-bags that are flirting with your girlfriend despite knowing that your in the picture.
Believe me, some guys are scumbags and have no qualms about stealing another man’s women, even if they are married.
For some reason, once your not in her vicinity, suddenly a whole platoon of dudes enter the picture.
Are you going to be able to trust in her that she will remain committed towards you while your away and she now has other dating options?
When your both far away from each other and your alone, its quite easy to get tempted to start a fling or even break off the relationship to move to greener pastures.
All it takes is for the right temptation to be present and that spells the end of the relationship.
This probably applies more to her then you since you got up and left your home country to seek a girl in Vietnam in the first place, which meant that you weren’t satisfied with your dating options locally.
Maybe its some random guy at a party or maybe some cute client that shows up in the picture or even an old boyfriend.
If you’ve been reading the articles on this website for a while now and applied some of the things that I teach, you’ll most likely have landed yourself a high quality relatively attractive Vietnamese woman as your girlfriend.
And if she’s a high quality relatively attractive Vietnamese girl, then there’s no doubt that there are guys in her life that are hitting on her. Most of these guys are harmless because they run bad game and pretty much shoot themselves in the foot within the first 10 seconds of meeting her.
However, once in a while she might meet some guy that has game and he may be of equal or higher value then you.
It’s in this situation that your in trouble. There’s only so much temptation she can resist before it overcomes her.
If your dating an average to below average girl then your probably won’t have as much trouble when it comes to temptation as most guys probably wouldn’t bother with her and instead pursue a more attractive looking girl.
I have a few female friends that are in no way attractive by local standards that have been in long distance relationships for quite some time now.
I have seen their boyfriends and let me say that they are as beta as you can get. Both out of shape, poorly dressed, and highly insecure.
If another guy with at least average game showed up in the picture, their relationship would be in serious trouble, luckily, no one is interested in their girlfriends.
Lack of Physical Intimacy
Physical intimacy and affection has been shown to have a positive correlation with relationship satisfaction. In addition, physical intimacy has been shown to help resolve relationship issues easier.
The love hormone oxytocin is also released during sex as well and helps lovers bond closer together.
When your not able to give each other physical intimacy, your not having much of a relationship at all.
Who wants to stare at a computer screen or phone all the time while your talking with your significant other?
You can’t hug them.
You can’t kiss them.
Hell you can’t even smell them!
Since your not able to satisfy your partners sexual needs, they may very well go seek to have their needs met somewhere else with or without letting you know about it.
Since your all focused on your cute Vietnamese girlfriend, you will tend to ignore all of the available women in your surroundings.
Your Vietnamese partner will also feel like they are missing out on opportunities but unlike you, their biological clock is ticking a lot more quicker. They know that they only have a limited amount of time to secure a life long partner before its too late.
This not only puts pressure on them to move fast, it also puts pressure on the relationship.
Your girlfriend may look towards you to seek comfort and commitment to reassure herself that she is making the right decision.
If you can’t give her what she needs, she will start looking elsewhere.
Being in a long distance relationship means that there will always be some sort of timezone differences between you guys unless your in the same country/province, etc.
This makes it hard to keep up regular communicate with your partner unless you guys have set a schedule before hand.
But setting a schedule before hand takes the spontaneity out of things and just makes it seem more like a chore rather than enjoyment.
If your not following a set schedule then its quite easy to get distracted with your day to day life and before you know it, you’ve both slowly drifted apart.
That’s exactly what happened with one of the girls that I had a long distance relationship with. Initially we would talk quite often no less than 2-3 times a week, but as the months went on and on, our communicate got less and less, until one day we both essentially ghosted each other.
When Should You Avoid Getting into a Long Distance Relationship?
Being in a long distance relationship is bad enough, I mean your giving her all your attention while not being able to get intimate with her at all. But there are some cases in which you should never be in a long distance relationship with a girl, and these are the following situations in which you shouldn’t be in one:
- You can’t see yourself with this girl long-term. There’s no point in being in a long distance relationship with someone if your not that attracted enough to them to see yourself being with them long term. Your wasting both her time and your own. Instead use that time to go out there and find someone that you truly want to be with.
- You’ve known her for 1 month or less. I made this grave mistake with one girl that I had dated for one month here. Things were awful once I got back home. Instead I should have just seen it as being a good memory for the both of us and let her go. Funny enough, I still run into this girl from time to time, however the spark’s gone now.
- Your going to be separated from each other for 6 months or more. I mean come on, six months is already hard enough, but imagine 1 year or maybe 2 or 3. Can you imagine how much time, energy, and effort that you wasted on a long distance relationship when you could have used that time for something else? Also the longer the amount of time that your both apart, the more likely that you will both come across somebody else.
- When you have a lot of dating options available. If your lucky enough to be an in environment conductive towards dating with a balanced or favorable ratio of male to females, then your better off looking for another girl locally. By being in a long distance relationship, your giving up on a lot of things including physical intimacy which is definitely required for romantic relationships. Also think of all the missed opportunities you will be forgoing by being in a committed long distance relationship.
When Is It Ok to Be in One?
Despite the fact that I recommended that you guys don’t get into a long distance relationship, I know there will still be some of you out there that won’t listen to me so I might as well tell you when it’s ok to be in a long distance relationship.
Here are a few instances when it’s “OK” to be in one:
When you have plans to be in their country in the near future or they will come to you
I would recommend 3 months max, maybe stretch it by 1-3 months if your really desperate. The reason why this is ok is because you have a set deadline and both of you know this.
This makes the waiting period easier to stomach. Imagine being in a long distance relationship with someone without knowing when you’ll both able to a see each other again in person. That relationship probably won’t last very long, as either you, her, or the both of you will quickly realize your wasting each other’s time. Waiting for someone for 3 months is definitely doable if the person is committed towards you, even six months could be accomplished. The timeline is short enough that whatever you built up with them is still present in their system so that when you come back, the feelings will still be there. Now if you were to say for example, come back in 5 years, most of those romantic feelings you both had for each other would have dissipated already. Definitely don’t do a long distance relationship if your planning to visit some broad half way around the world in 5 years time!
When your engaged or married.
At this point, you’ve both already made massive amounts of commitment towards each other and the odds of her leaving you are pretty low unless of course you picked the wrong type of women. If you have relatives in their home country that is even better and will help reduce any problems such as her straying.
When Your Living in a Desolate Place Devoid of High Quality Women or Even Women in General.
Imagine places like Alaska, Greenland, or hell even Toronto!
Toronto was by far one of the worse dating places I’ve ever set foot in.
Believe it or not, but there some places on the planet that are a dating hell for men, whereby men of high caliber are fighting for table scraps.
If you find yourself in this situation, it may very well be the best solution granted that your doing whatever it takes to get the hell out of there and move to greener pastures.
Some guys might argue and say well you should just forget about women and work on improving yourself if you live in these places. Dating will naturally occur later on.
I have this to say to you if your one of those guys that think like this.
Imagine working your chops off day in and night, only focusing on work and improving yourself without focusing on women. Do that for 1 year or more and see how well adjusted you’ll become.
This I believe is one of the major causes of male thirst and that new incel movement that caused the Elliot Roger’s tragedy.
We as a species survived because we sought companionship. It’s basically written into our programming to seek mates.
Men have gone to war and died because of their desire to seek female companionship and procreate.
By going against our programming, we cause misery, depression, and an unfulfilled life.
Why do you think guys travel thousands of miles into crime ridden, third world countries to seek girlfriends and wives?
Their potentially putting themselves in danger just so that they can have companionship.
There’s only so long that a guy can remain celibate before it causes him to lose his mind.
In addition, self-improvement only goes so far before you reach a point of diminishing returns for your efforts.
Rather, instead of improving yourself to attract the local women where the dating market is whacked, use your new improved self and move somewhere else with better dating options. You’ll easily move up 1-3 points up rather than a measly .5 points locally despite all of that work you put in.
If you fall under this category, here are a few articles on the best places to meet Vietnamese girls online:
When You’ve Met and Had a Great Long Term Relationship with Someone Already
Ideally, this relationship should be at least 1+ year long before the separation. The reason being, if you were dating her less than that, you may not have had time to build up that solid relationship foundation with her.
If you haven’t built up a solid relationship with her prior to being in a long distance relationship, there is risk for the relationship to crumble once your separated for a long period of time.