Factors That Affect The Success of a Long Distance Relationship
Characteristics, Lifestyle, and Personality of the Girl
This one goes without saying, if you selected a mate that is a party girl, that is always hanging out at parties, bars, clubs, etc, then her chances of straying are increased significantly.
When determining whether or not to start a long distance relationship with a girl, its important to be honest with yourself and examine your girlfriend’ personality, lifestyle, and characteristics.
Is she the type of always go home after work and just stay at home or is she the type to seek fun and excitement all the time?
Is she a flashy dresser or is she quite conservative?
A girl’s environment can have quite the effect on whether or not she will stray and abandon the long distance relationship.
If she is always surrounding by guys, especially high value guys, then the chances of her breaking things off are much higher compared to a girl that is always busy with her work and taking care of the house.
Her Social Circle
A girl’s social circle can have tremendous effect on whether or not she remains in the long distance relationship.
I remember there was one girl that I had a long distance relationship with who lived in Haiphong. Initially when we met, she was all lovey dovey with me and I had made plans to visit her in the future. However, her sister had recently just gotten married to some douchebag. Her new brother-in-law introduced her to his friend despite knowing that I was in the picture already.
He then tried to get her parents on his side to pressure her to marry his friend who she had just recently met. This was when she started to turn cold on me. I eventually found out what was happening but she tried to reassure me that she didn’t love the guy and wanted to leave him for me but her parents were pressuring her to marry the guy.
I didn’t want to be tangled up in a love triangle so I broke up with her. Also my trust in her was broken.
The least attractive she is, the less dating options she will have, as most of the guys will be out competing for the more attractive looking Vietnamese girls. This is why sometimes you seem some couples that can have 1+ year long distance relationships despite not having met for over a year. It’s because she doesn’t have guys throwing themselves at her left and right.
If she is even remotely attractively, at some point down the line while your not in the picture, some guys will start hitting on her, and if your unlucky, she might meet a guy that is of equal or higher value then you.
How Solid Your Relationship With Her Was Prior to Separation
The longer that you both have gone out and the stronger and stable the relationship is, the easier it will be to weather the storm that comes your way once your in a long distance relationship.
Relationships that are short term (3 months or less) are extremely ripe for dissolving as you both have not built up the necessary foundation for the relationship to survive. Your both still in the infatuation phase. Once the 3-6 mark is over and all of the happy go lucky chemicals leave your body, that’s when the real test of the relationship starts.
Couples that have been through thick and thin will be able to endure the difficulty and hardship of a long distance relationship, whereas those that just began will see the relationship crumble.
How Long Before You Will Be Reunited
The shorter the period the better. A 1-2 month separation sure as hell beats a 1-2 year separation.
Most girls if you haven’t dated them for a while will hawk at the idea of being in a long distance relationship for 1-2 years. In their mind the only thing they will think about is their biological clock and how they need to find a high value mate to commit to them before their time runs out.
Her waiting for you in the background for 1-2 years has a detrimental effect on her ability to secure another mate should things fall through with you. The logical part of her brain tells her to abandon ship if the timeline is long and far.
Her Ability to Secure Another Mate of Equal Or Higher Value Than You
If your Vietnamese girlfriend is pretty sure that she can find another replacement for you of equal or higher value, she will no doubt do it if the opportunity presents itself.
If on the other hand, she feels that your the best that she could get, then the chances of her sticking around are much higher, granted that she is reasonably sure that things will progress once your reunited.
How Committed You Both Are To The Relationship
If this was a casual thing then forget about it. It won’t last, guaranteed.
If on the other hand, you’ve already passed through several commitment points such as meeting her parents/friends, moving in together, etc. Then in this situation, your odds of the long distance relationship being able to withstand the distance will have a higher chance of prevailing.
Also she knows that all of the things that you are telling her right before you become separated or during separation should be taken with a grain of salt. The only thing she knows for sure is what you both have done previously. Everything else in the future, is uncertain.
So if you promised the world to her, yet haven’t delivered it yet, she will take the safer option and settle for someone else that is in her near vicinity even if he is lower value then you.
Long Distance Dating Tips
So what happens if your already in a long distance relationship or if you really still want to be in one despite all of the things that I mentioned previously?
What can you do to up your odds of making it through this behemoth of a relationship killer?
Here are a few tips that you can employ to help you weather this storm:
Regular Daily Communication
Notice I mentioned “daily” communication and not regular communication. Daily communication for Vietnamese girls is like a sacred unwritten vow that you need to make once you get into a relationship with one.
I remember in the past before I had much experience with dating Vietnamese girls that I listened to some “dating coach” that recommended that you only communicate with the girl when she initiates contact, not you.
Needless to say, those previous relationships all faltered and failed. Once I realized this guy had no idea what the hell he was talking about, and I tested out several different theories, I found out that daily communication was essential. This is even more so when your in a long distance relationship with a Vietnamese girl.
Being thousands of miles apart is already taking a toll on your relationship, don’t make things even more harder for the both of you by being a bonehead and playing games and being a “challenge to women”.
This stuff might work in person but if your only contact with women is online, forget it.
Your essentially shooting yourself in the foot.
I’ve already mentioned it time and time again that Vietnamese girls are extremely clingy and needy. They want constant reassurance that you care about them and are thinking about them.
By giving her the cold shoulder and just waiting around for her to get in contact with you or trying to minimize contact with her, she will feel that you don’t care about her and that you don’t value the relationship.
If you choose to go in the long distance relationship route, make sure that you try to communicate with her on a daily basis.
Also make sure that she understands that because of the timezone differences, you both won’t always be able to reply back on time.
Try to Have Video/Voice Calls Instead of Texting
Texting is great for quick and simple things that you want get across such as what time to meet, where should you meet, etc.
However when it comes to managing the relationship, it is one of the worse forms of communication that you can partake in with your Vietnamese girlfriend or wife.
Oftentimes things can be misunderstand over texts. In addition, you cannot hear or see their facial expressions, tonality of voice, which can make a big difference when it comes to communication.
The preferred order of communication instead should be:
- video calls
- voice calls
The list goes from personal to impersonal.
Setting Proper Expectations In The Beginning
Before you start the long distance relationship or even at the very beginning, make sure that the both of you are on the same page. This includes discussing things like frequently of communication, whether or not you will be visiting each other during this period of time, when will the distance issue be resolved, etc.
This ensures that both parties know exactly what they are getting themselves into and can develop a proper strategy to handle problems if and when they arise.
Have a Timeline for When You Guys Will Be Reunited
No amount of long distance dating tips will help if you don’t have solid plans for when you guys expect to get back together.
Having a good idea of a timeline will help the both of you weather the storm and see the light at the end of the tunnel. Sometimes you won’t be able to have a specific date in mind, and that’s ok, just as long as you have a good idea of when you guys will be reunited such as in 1 year or 2 years from now, rather then on December 20th, 2020.
Continue to Court and Flirt With Her
Doing physical things together may be difficult but that doesn’t mean that you can’t continue courting and flirting with her.
Don’t stop doing what you did initially that got you the girl.
If she mentions to you about a new dress she just bought, tell her to put it on and then tell her how sexy and beautiful she looks in it.
She still needs to feel those lovey dovey emotions when she’s talking with you. If you start talking with her like a friend, well guess what?
Soon you’ll be treated just as one too!
Give Each Other A Small Gift
I’m not a big fan of giving your Vietnamese girlfriend material things, however in the case of long distance relationships, I do believe that they help.
When your not physically there with the other person, having reminders of you around in their environment will help keep their nerves and emotions in check.
Every time when they feel like they are slipping away and ready to give up on the relationship, seeing something that you bought for them will help slowly pull them back in just enough to help them keep on going.
When deciding on what to give your girlfriend, try to opt for things with meaning between the both of you rather then being expensive like an iPhone or expensive jewelry.
These gifts aren’t meant to be extravagant and luxurious, they are meant to remind your girlfriend or wife of the time that you guys had together and will continue to have once you become reunited again.
Some good examples may be a video that you make for her that includes video clips of the times that you were together in the past. Some candid and funny moments could be used throughout the video.
Another example could be some item that you both had an insider joke about. Maybe its a trinket from a country that you both went on vacation too or a stuffed animal. The point is, the item needs to have some sort of deep meaning to it in order for it to work.
If you need some good gift ideas for your Vietnamese girlfriend, check out this article that I wrote.
Being far away from the one that you love is never easy, and the distance can ruin many great potential long lasting relationships.
Being in a long distance relationship is not ideal but for some it can feel like the answers to their prayers, especially when their living in a crappy city or hometown with atrocious dating options.
If you find yourself in that situation, then perhaps long distance relationships may very well be one of only a few options that you have.
If you do decide to become involved in a long distance relationship, take note of the risks and problems that will be present in the relationship.
However, with some work and managing expectations, long distance relationships can work.
Let me know in the comments below whether or not you have ever been in a long distance relationship and how did things end up.