Cons of Dating Girls in Vietnam


So far I’ve been only raving about all of the good things about dating girls in Vietnam, however there are some cons to dating girls in Vietnam that you should know about before deciding on dating a Vietnamese woman.

Like with everything in life, there are some good things and then they are some not so good things with pretty much everything that you encounter.

I know there are a lot of blogs out there that only talk about all of the nice things that Vietnamese girls have to offer yet completely ignore all of the not so nice things that come with the territory of dating Vietnamese girls.

Well today, I’m going to change all of that by sharing with you guys some of the not so nice things about dating girls in Vietnam.

Here are 8 cons of dating girls in Vietnam:

  1. Hookup Culture is Rare
  2. Will Push For Commitment Sooner
  3. You Marry into the Family
  4. Your Responsible for the Finances in the Relationship
  5. Communication Problems
  6. Vietnamese Girls Can Be Quite Cunning
  7. Neediness / Clingy
  8. High Maintenance and Insecure

Lets have a look at each one shall we?

Hookup Culture is Rare

dating girls in Vietnam: hookup culture

This point may or may not be a con depending on what your looking for. If your looking for a wife and the future mother of your children then it can be seen as a pro.

But for the rest of those guys out there just looking to sleep around or have casual relationships when dating girls in Vietnam, this is a con.

You’ve probably heard me talk about this numerous times, whether it be here on the website or through one of my videos on my youtube channel but Vietnamese girls are very conservative.

what this means is that hookup culture is pretty rare here in Vietnam.

Of course you will once in a while run into some girl that has a more liberal attitude towards hookups but by and large, the majority of Vietnamese girls that you will encounter here will not be open to the idea of hooking up on the first date or even the second.

Usually the girl will require multiple dates before she is willing to sleep with you.

There are also a subset of the population that believe in abstinence before marriage!

Forget about sleeping with your girlfriend.

It won’t happen until after you’ve become a married couple.

Also if you manage to get the girl back to your place, be prepared to face an astronomical amount of last minute resistance from the girl.

This can be anywhere from 30 minutes to hours before she is finally ready to give it up to you.

Most Vietnamese girls don’t want to appear cheap and get shamed by people for being easy.

Will Push For Commitment Sooner

Most Vietnamese girls date with the intention of getting married.

If your only interested in dating a Vietnamese woman casually, then be prepared to either cut her loose or have her bring fire and hell into your life as she tries in vain to get you to commit to her.

Add to this fact that most Vietnamese girls are not under the illusion that they can keep on playing the field forever. Most Vietnamese girls know that their clock is ticking and that they only have a limited amount of time to secure a lifelong partner before its too late.

For most Vietnamese girls this means by the time they are in the mid 25s, they are already looking at getting married, and by their late 20’s, its last call and usually pickings are slim, as most guys prefer a much younger girl.

Most of these late 20’s Vietnamese girls will then turn their attention towards foreigners instead who are more forgiving when it comes to age.

A lot of Vietnamese girls will push aggressively for commitment soon after dating.

This doesn’t necessarily mean marriage, however that is the ultimate goal.

Expect a Vietnamese girl to try to tie you down into a committed relationship within the first 3 months.

After that, they will quickly push for the parent/friends meetup or even ask about moving in together if you haven’t already proposed marriage with them.

Then she will start hinting at marriage soon afterwards.

My girlfriend was already pushing for a serious relationship around the 2 month mark when I wasn’t even finished playing the field yet.

I had another girl also try the same thing with me around the 2 month mark, but I had to cut her loose because I didn’t see myself with her long term and she started to complain a lot about my lack of commitment towards her, and I just got sick and tired of it.

You Marry into the Family

dating girls in Vietnam: Marry into the family

When you marry a Vietnamese girl, you don’t just marry her, you marry her family as well.

What this means is that your not only responsible for helping your wive out, but also her family.

If your new in-laws have any financial difficulty, they may come knocking at your door for help, and as their new relative, your expected to help out.

This is a reason why you should be extra selective and cautious about which Vietnamese girl that you marry.

Before deciding on marrying a Vietnamese girl, you should also have a good hard look at her immediate family.

Are they well off or are they dirt poor?

What about debts?

Do they seem like the type of people that will ask for money or other resources once you’ve married into the family?

If your marrying a very poor girl from the countryside, be very cautious.

Also be extra careful about her relatives having any sort of business ambition because they will probably ask you to pitch in to help finance their “business idea”.

Failure to help out, will mean a loss of face and respect for you in the family.

Now on the bright side, her family will be more than willing to help you out if you encounter any problems here in Vietnam.

This means they will come and pick you up at the airport, drive you around the city, and help you out with any errands you might have.

If you need an interpreter, her family will offer to give you a helping out.

There are pros and cons to being a part of her family.

Just make sure that your not getting the short end of the stick by marrying into her family.

Your Responsible for the Finances in the Relationship

Vietnamese culture is very conservative and traditional. Their way of thinking is that the man is the breadwinner in the household and is responsible for the finances of the household.

What this means is that anything to due with money will inevitable fall upon your shoulders and be your responsibility.

Unlike in the west, where asking to split things in half is seen as being acceptable, in Vietnam, you’ll lose face if you attempt this.

During the initial phases of courtship, a Vietnamese girl will be happy to split things with you, but once you start getting more serious, especially after you’ve become a married couple, then she will look towards you for handling the finances in the household.

In some households, the husband even has to give his money to his wife to manage it for the family.

This is one aspect of dating here that I don’t really like, however if your looking for a traditional conservative Vietnamese girl, then this is one of the prices that you need to pay, unless of course you managed to find yourself a well off Vietnamese girl.

In this case, she probably won’t expect you to be responsible for the finances. However her parents may need you to show them that your financially capable of supporting her current style.

Communication Problems

dating girls in Vietnam: communication problems

When your dating a girl from a different country, language and communication issues are going in inevitable come up.

Now if the girl comes from a country where you speak the native language and understand the culture, communication issues will be minimized.

e.g. Overseas Vietnamese guy dating a Vietnamese girl in Vietnam


e.g. American guy dating a British girl

lack of understanding and miscommunication will definitely be a big factor during your relationship with a Vietnamese girl.

Now there are two things that you can do to rectify this.

  1. Study Vietnamese
  2. Look for a Vietnamese girl with a good grasp of English

If your going with option 1, then that means that your going to need to spend hours and hours flipping through textbooks, listening to podcasts and audio files, and even seeking a Vietnamese tutor to help you learn the language.

Luckily, there are some good resources available.

Here is one book that I have used that has helped me tremendously in improving my Vietnamese. Its beginner friendly and very straight forward yet thorough.

Vietnamese for Beginners

Click here to order your copy today.

If your going with option 2, then know that English penetration levels are quite low in Vietnam.

Most Vietnamese girls have some sort of understanding of basic English grammar and vocabulary, however speaking is another matter.

It feels as if the speaking portion of learning English was completely taken out of the education curriculum here in Vietnam.

The percentage of normal girls that actually speak English are quite low here and they usually fall under 2 categories:

  • Career women
  • University students

You’ll have to weed through a lot of girls before you can locate one that speaks decent enough English.

Vietnamese Girls Can Be Quite Cunning

dating girls in Vietnam: cunning

Vietnamese girls for the most part are intelligent and smart, however some Vietnamese girls use this to take advantage of naive foreigners.

This usually comes down to resource extraction such as money, gifts, trips, etc.

You will witness this in action especially in online dating here in Vietnam or in the nightlife scene, where an armada of gold digging Vietnamese girls have setup shop.

A lot of them try to play coy and win your trust first, only to later start suggesting that you buy them things or take them somewhere expensive.

Nowadays when I’m dating a Vietnamese girl, I usually like to employ a few tricks to test the girl for sincerity.

When you take a girl out to a cafe, pay attention to what type of drink she orders and how much it costs.

This can give you a little insight into her character. A girl that decides to order the most expensive drink there, tend to have a taste for the finer things in life.

With some girls, you may not even get this point, because they will instead insist on eating out at some fancy expensive restaurant for the first date.

Other Vietnamese girls will employ tricks to try and figure out your financial status such as asking about your living accommodations or job.

Still others will let you sleep with them relatively easily or make it extremely difficult to bed them despite them having a previous history of being quite liberal towards intimacy. Once the girl knows she has her hooks sunk into you, that’s when her true character starts to come out and she starts asking for things such as marriage, gifts, money, etc.

If your not the type of guy with a lot of social intelligence nor experience with women, you better be careful because all it takes is to meet one wrong Vietnamese girl and you can pretty much kiss your ass goodbye.

Buyer beware!


I don’t know what it is, but neediness and clinginess seems to be the norm when dealing with Vietnamese girls.

Vietnamese girls have a constant need for attention and reassurances about the relationship.

If you allow a Vietnamese girl, she will want to cling and be beside you 24/7.

needy girl

To her, it seems normal, but for us guys that live outside of Vietnam, this behavior can be quite smothering.

Vietnamese girls see being needy and clingy as a way of showing you that they care about you.

They may text you several times during the day with some random text message that usually doesn’t go very far such as the following:

Are you awake yet?

Did you eat yet?

What did you eat?

What are you doing now?

Despite this minor annoyance, I’ve learned to embrace it as their way of showing that they care about me.

High Maintenance and Insecure

I know some of you guys will say that western women can be quite high maintenance, and while I do agree with this, Vietnamese girls on average are also quite high maintenance.

This seems to be the case all across the board.

Now let me explain what exactly high maintenance means when it comes to dating a Vietnamese woman.

Vietnamese girls expect their man to partake in an endless volley of texting/calling/video chatting with them every single day of your existence with her.

While some guys may actually like this, I actually find this kind of suffocating as I need some personal space.

I have gotten into numerous fights with my girlfriend over this exact issue.

My Vietnamese girlfriend has claimed that I don’t care about her and aren’t committed in the relationship because I don’t text/call her enough.

Whereas I don’t see much of the point of it, and actually think its a waste of time.

I see it as time that I could have spent doing something else more productive.

Depending on the personality of your girlfriend, these marathon texting/phone call type of exchanges can last anywhere from a few short texts asking about her day to hour long sessions that really eat up into your time.

And things don’t stop there, when your girlfriend is over at your place, she expects you to give her your full undivided attention.

My girlfriend actually is quite jealous of me using the computer when she’s over instead of giving her my attention.

She even joked that my girlfriend is the computer and not her.

This can get annoying at times, as I do have a lot of work to do on the computer, such as managing this website, however she doesn’t seem to care about that.

In her mind, as long as she is with me physically, it means I need to give her my full undivided attention.

This means no working on the computer but instead cuddling with her on the bed, or talking with her about random things.

You will always need to reassure her of your commitment and banish her insecurities that will always creep back up.

If your considering dating a Vietnamese girl, just be prepared for this.


In this article, we covered 8 different cons of dating a Vietnamese woman. These include:

  1. Hookup Culture is Rare
  2. Will Push For Commitment Sooner
  3. You Marry into the Family
  4. Your Responsible for the Finances in the Relationship
  5. Communication Problems
  6. Vietnamese Girls Can Be Quite Cunning
  7. Neediness / Clingy
  8. High Maintenance and Insecure

Dating a Vietnamese woman is wonderful. Vietnamese girls are warm, affectionate, family-oriented, and make great wives and mothers.

However, there are a few flaws that you need to take into consideration.

If you can live with these cons of dating girls in Vietnam, then your Vietnamese girlfriend or wife will make you one happy fella.

Let me know in the comments below what cons did you face from dating girls in Vietnam?

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  • Reply
    January 20, 2020 at 3:14 pm

    Thanks! I always known this is true. Being Vietkieu myself. Growing up and meeting all sorts of Vietnamese girls here the US and in VN i concluded that marrying a Vietnamese girl is a one way trip to the poor house!

    • Reply
      January 22, 2020 at 5:02 am

      Yup there are definitely some pros and cons to dating Vietnamese girls. You just need to weigh what’s more important to you.

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