I remember the first time I had to ask a girl out. It was a cute Korean girl in my high school accounting class that I had a crush on. She had pale skin, big round hazel eyes, and long straight silky hair the color of chocolate, which she dyed. I was memorized by her. I spent practically most of the semester trying to get close to her, hoping that she would see the great guy that I was and eventually I would muster up the courage to ask her out.
Muster up the courage I did, however the delivery was god awful and I only asked for her email instead of her number and no details about the date were even mentioned. I cringe when I think back to those days. However they helped shaped the man that I would later become in life.
Eventually though, through more failures and disappointments, I learned through experience how to better craft my delivery and execution for asking a girl out. Nowadays I think I’ve done it so many times that it’s become second nature for me.
So how do you ask a Vietnamese girl out on a date exactly?
Well to put it simply, to ask a Vietnamese girl out on a date, you walk up to the girl that your attracted to, flash a sexy and intriguing smile at her and then you open your mouth using the many facial muscles that surround your face. Next, you let your vocal cords take over as you ask her something along the lines of:
Hi Thuy, let’s grab a coffee sometime, when are you free?
Direct and straight to the point. That really is the gist of it. No need for clever pick up lines or fancy tricks.
Not rocket science right?
So why do we make it such a big deal, like it’s something terrible that we must do? Why does it require a herculean effort just to spill out a few words from our mouth?
Well, It all comes down to a fear of rejection!
Fear of Rejection
Deep inside, we are all afraid of getting rejected. This has been programmed into us through eons of evolution from back during our caveman times. It is completely normal to feel like this. There are however, a small percentage of people who don’t experience this, but for everyone else, your gonna experience some level of discomfort. That nagging feeling of butterflies in your stomach when you first attempt to do something new will be present.
But despite these uncomfortable feelings, your gonna have to grab your balls and venture forward if your looking towards getting laid, getting into a relationship with a girl, and eventually marrying them and starting a family.
Most girls will not ask you out first, especially girls from very traditional conservative societies such as Vietnam. They have been taught since a young age that it is the man’s job to make a move, not the girls. Therefore, unfortunately for you my friend, your gonna have to be a man and just do it.
How to Manage Fear of Rejection
In my opinion, the best way to manage a fear is not to run away from it, but to confront it. Do this enough times and you will soon find that it no longer fazes you at all. Ask out enough girls and soon you won’t even have second thoughts about it.
Luckily for you my friend your dealing with Vietnamese girls. One positive thing about Vietnamese girls is that even if they aren’t interested in you, their rejections are usually quite soft and painless. They will let you down very easy and usually come up with an excuse like “I’m busy” or “Maybe next week but let me check my schedule first.”. This allows you to maintain “face” and not make things too awkward for future interactions if you ever see them again.
This is a godsend compared to some Western chicks who are extremely harsh with their rejections. I once had a girl shove her hand in my face when I attempted to say hi to her, while another friend of mines had a girl tell him to F off for simply saying hi. Most Vietnamese girls are very pleasant to deal with even when they are rejecting you.
Also realize that this one girl is one of many beautiful girls that you can easily meet in Vietnam. If she says no, there are many more girls that would say yes to an invitation for a date. Keep this in mind when attempting to ask out the girl that you like. It will help reduce the anxiety you may be experiencing.
Some Tips to Improve Your Chances of Getting a Date
Here are four additional tips that will help tip the scale in your favor when attempting to ask a Vietnamese girl out.
Don’t Build It Up Into Something Big
Did you ever hear the saying “Keep it simple stupid.”
This applies very well in this situation.
keep things simple and easy for the both of you. No need for extravagant dinners and activities like rock climbing or whisking her away to some secret romantic hideout spot on top of a secluded cliff. Just a simple coffee date or tea will suffice. Save the more over the wall romantic stuff for later dates when the girl has actually earned it.
You can read this post here to learn more about where to take a girl out on a first date.
Most guys hype themselves up and make asking a girl out a big deal, and then get super nervous and end up psyching themselves out. Don’t be one of those guys.
Asking a girl that you find attractive out on a date should be seen as one of the most natural things in the world. People have been doing this for centuries now. It really is no big deal.
Look For Signs Of Interest
To help increase your chances of getting a “yes” from the girl and also to help make things easier, I suggest that you look for signs of interest from the girl prior to asking her out.
Although there is no guarantee ever that a girl will say yes, typically when a girl is showing signs of interest, your odds of getting her out are pretty good.
There’s a few things to look out for:
- Playing with her hair
- Smiling and laughing at your jokes
- Touching you
- Sustained eye contact and giving you that “look” in her eyes
- Hovering around you
- Asking you a lot of personal questions
- She displays an open body language and has her body facing towards you with no arms crossed.
Asking a girl out that is showing some or all of these signs of interest greatly ups your odds of getting the date.
With that being said though, does this mean if a girl is not showing any of these signs that you shouldn’t ask her out? Absolutely not. Still ask the girl out to be 100% sure. They say you miss 100% of the shots that you don’t take. Take every shot that you got.
Do It On a High Note
Try to ask the girl out while things are going well such as her laughing at your jokes or you guys building a connection together. It will look a lot more natural for you to ask her out during this time and her receptivity towards your date idea will be greatly improved.
One of the worse times you could be asking the girl out is when she is either:
- Busy and preoccupied with something
- Things are stall and the spark has fizzled out
- Just out of the blue and random
Think about it from her shoes. If you were busy with something or the conversation is getting dull, what is the likely hood of you agreeing to a date with the person?
It makes you look socially un-calibrated and sends a weird vibe to her. Ask her out when things are going well.
Don’t Wait Too Long
Everything eventually fizzles out. That magic spark you guys initially had when you first met, can later on disappear and your left wondering what happened or her circumstances could change or she could move to another place or job.
There was a cute receptionist at one of the gyms that I was working out at. Initially I only saw her once in a while so therefore didn’t have much face time with her. However, I later on found out her schedule, and at one point I had a great conversation with her and we started to build up some rapport, but stupid me, I figured I needed to give her more time and build more comfort before asking her out. Well, guess what happened?
I showed up one day to go work out and there was a new employee sitting at her desk. I later found out from another employee that she had quit her job. Damn! You snooze you lose.
Don’t wait forever to make a move on her or she’s gonna disappear out of your life for good!
At the end of the day, don’t sweat it too much. If she says yes then great, you’ve got yourself a date and if she says no, well then there is a lot more attractive Vietnamese girls out there that are more than happy to go out on a date with you.