Older Men Dating Younger Women in Vietnam: The Facts


Southeast Asia (SEA) has always been a hotbed for loads of older men that want to be dating younger women or finding a wife.

Its popularity steams from its low cost of living, great weather, and of course beautiful feminine women that are more tolerant of bigger age gaps.

And Vietnam is no exception to this rule.

Every year, thousands of foreign men arrive in Vietnam with the hopes of snagging themselves a much younger and prettier Vietnamese girl then what they could get back home.

If your going the traditional route of looking for love back home, you can forget about finding anyone remotely attractive when your 60, hell you’d be lucky to even find a woman that still has a full set of teeth!

But countless men seen to have defied the odds when they ventured off into Vietnam, only to end up finding a relatively young and attractive Vietnamese woman.

But is everything as nice and sweet as it seems or is this just an illusion?

In this article we will explore whether or not Vietnamese girls are really attracted to dating older men and how to tip the scales in your favor.

Does Age Matter?

dating younger women: Vietnamese girl in green dress

This is a common question many older men ask when deciding whether or not to date younger women, especially when they journey to Vietnam.

The simple answer is no it doesn’t, but only to a certain extent.

I have hooked up and dated plenty of girls that were much younger then me in the past.

Girls anywhere from 18, 19 all the way up to my age. Now granted, I’m sure my great Asian genes was a huge factor in sustaining my youthful looks and I could probably pass myself off as a 24-25 year old guy, but still.

If you don’t make a big deal out of it then they probably won’t neither.

There will be of course some girls that will test you and see if your really comfortable dating someone at least a decade or more younger then you, but if you stand your ground and maintain an aura of confidence, then she won’t be able to help it and will fall into your frame.

Things like possessing solid game, having unshakable confidence and experience with women, and status can greatly help you negate the effects associated with being much older then the girl.

Girls have always throughout time preferred guys that are older then them.

In fact, my father is over a decade older than my mother, and I also know several people that have wives that are at least 5 years or more younger then them.

Older men in the eyes of women in Vietnam show maturity, security, experience, and status. Vietnamese women view men that are older as being more well established and having more wealth compared to your average young Joe.

How Old is Too Old?

dating younger women: girl in white dress

Despite a lot of women preferring someone that is older than them, there is a limit unfortunately.

There is only so much that status, wealth, game, charisma, and life experience can get you with a girl, at least if your banking on her being attracted to you as a person rather than your wallet or some other financial benefit.

As you age, especially once you start hitting 40 and up, there’s less and less of a compromise on an age difference that a Vietnamese girl is willing to accept, at least a normal non-gold digging one that is.

Just to keep things in perspective, If your an 80 year old guy, don’t expect to be bagging yourself an 18 year old hottie. That ain’t going to happen unless your filthy rich, like Warren Buffett or a super charismatic Hollywood movie star like Sean Connery or Tom Cruise.

I don’t care how smooth and confident you think you are, there’s no way in hell she would be physically attracted to some guy with old sagging skin and fake teeth unless he has killer status and wealth.

Throw in the language barrier too, and things are stacked against you even higher.

Its funny how status and wealth can turn a seemingly ordinary older guy into a sexy and charming man but if he doesn’t possess neither of these, suddenly he turns into that old creepy guy.

Now a guy that is in his mid to late 30’s, maybe even up to mid-late 40s if they still look young could probably still get with a young 18 year old girl if he has strong fundamentals of game, and also shows himself to be financially sound.

Getting a girl in her 20’s should be no problem at all for guys in this age range, and in fact a lot of girls prefer guys in this range (30s to 40s).

Other Factors Affecting Her Behavior

In addition to how she perceives you, there are a host of other external factors that could affect her judgement and decision on whether or not to date you such as her family and friends.

Community in Vietnam is very close knit. News spreads fast and soon the whole neighborhood will know about her adventurous side. Depending on how big the age gap is, this could lead to some problems.

In the west nowadays, there’s this huge social stigma that shuns and shames guys for getting together with younger women, especially if the age gap is large.

Being called a creep or that old creepy man is not unheard of.

Luckily in Vietnam, tolerance of large age differences is much higher but that still doesn’t mean that you can always get away with it.

A cute 20 year Vietnamese girl that is either dating or planning on marrying a 65 year old foreigner, regardless of whether or not she is genuinely attracted to him will soon find herself the talk of the town, especially if he’s just an average older guy.

Locals could start passing rumors around that she’s a gold digger or that something must be wrong with her that she can’t snag herself a much younger guy.

If you understand women, then you’ll understand that reputation means everything to them.

So in this case, even if she actually likes you, she probably won’t risk it for fear of being ostracized by the community and her family.

Having Realistic Expectations

Its very important when deciding to date a younger Vietnamese girl that you have realistic expectations.

If your a bald wrinkled up prune juice drinking old man with a beer belly and a bad case of arthritis, then I hate to break it to you but you ain’t gonna be attracting the cream of the crop here down in Vietnam, at least not without your wallet.

Older men dating younger women in aldo shop
I’m sure she loves you for you and not your wallet pal

Girls that look like models and actresses aren’t going to be lining up to hook up with you when they got dozens of rich local young Vietnamese guys all fighting for her attention.

Now on the other hand, if your a suave 35-40 year old guy that has his shit together including being in shape, then dating someone 20 years old isn’t a problem.

So what’s a reasonable age range to shoot for?

This one’s a little tricky to answer mainly because at different age ranges, your range of girls that you can date and attract will change.

A guy that is 80+ shouldn’t have problems getting a women that is 50+. This is a 30+ age difference whereas, a guy that is 30 can date women anywhere from 18-30 or older if they prefer.

But a safe bet would be to add 10 to 15 years to whatever age difference you could get in the west.

So for example: A 40 year old guy that could get dates with girls around 30 years old back home could potentially get with a 25-30 year old Vietnamese women no problem here. He could probably do even better, depending on his skill level with women and aesthetics but within that age range, there should be little to no social stigma.

A 60 year old guy going after a 20 year old girl will definitely get talked about over here in Vietnam, but if he went after instead a 45 year old women, then nobody would bat an eyelash.

What to Look Out For

Vietnamese girl in white t-shirt

Dating in Vietnam or in SEA is not like anything in the west.

Its a completely different beast out here.

If you don’t have your wits about you, your going to get slaughtered in the dating game here.

There are countless dating scams in this poverty stricken region in the world.

You’ll see things like catfishing, identity theft, asking for money, and even murder!

As an older foreign guy coming over to this region in the world, especially if its your first time here and your inexperienced with women, your ripe for being taken advantage of.

Here are a few things to watch out for when dating younger girls:

  • If your girlfriend or new wive starts asking for money then this is a huge red flag and you should probably make plans to jump ship as soon as possible.
  • Watch out for any brothers/guy cousins that seem awfully close to her. Its most likely her lover masquerading as her “brother/cousin”.
  • Does she suggest that you guys get married soon after meeting?
  • Does she appear super interested about foreign countries?
  • How does her family act around you? Do they appear super enthusiastic about your company?
  • Does she suggest that you purchase a property here in Vietnam in her name?

There are countless more red flags that I could go on about that could fill up a whole new article. In fact, I might just write one about that in the future.

If you notice one or more of these red flags, you should be extra cautious and start preparing an exit plan.

And here’s one last tip, never give any money to your Vietnamese lover! If they start asking for any money, then its time to move on.

The Worse Place to Look for a Girl

Vietnamese bar girls

Can you guess what this place is?

No, its not a club.

It ain’t online neither.

It’s a frigging bar!

This is the absolute worse place to go looking for a girl to date.

These Vietnamese bar girls are vicious and have game worthy to rival that of Casanova.

Nearly every single guy that I have heard about that has shacked up with a girl working at bars in SEA has ended up a broken man.

Don’t make that same mistake that has caused thousands of men financial ruin and quite possibly a lifetime prescription to psychiatric therapy sessions with a shrink.

I know they can be very convincing and extra seductive while in your company, but this is all an act to extract as much resources from you as possible.

You may try to convince yourself “NO! She loves me for me, not my money, or my passport.”, just like the countless other clueless men that arrived here before you and later got fleeced.

A lot of men come over to Vietnam and start dating these Vietnamese bar girls and think they can “save them” and be their knight in shining Armour.

The only problem is, these girls don’t need saving.

You do!

There are countless better places to meet a nice Vietnamese women.

Where to Meet Younger Girls

Since we’ve ruled out bars as a place to meet young girls, where should an older guy go?

Luckily for you there are countless other ways to meet girls over here in Vietnam such as the following:


This is by far the easiest way to meet girls without actually having someone introduce girls to you.

For meeting younger girls that are open to dating older guys, I recommend the website, VietnamCupid.

There are loads of cute and pretty Vietnamese girls that are open to dating foreign guys, and some of the girls even speak English!

You can create a free account to browse the types of girls that are members on the site. However, if you want to communicate with them, you will need to upgrade your membership.

Click here to signup for a free membership on VietnamCupid.

Once you have a membership, check out my guide here on how to score dates easily on VietnamCupid.

Social Circle

You’d be surprised by the amount of young girls that will be introduced to you here in Vietnam.

On my first month here, I was introduced to a young 18 year hipster girl by her mother who delivered goods to my aunt. Her mother had noticed me a few times and had asked my aunt whether or not I was single because she wanted to introduce her daughter to me.

On another occasion, I had a friend that also tried to introduce her sister’s friend to me shortly after arriving here in Vietnam.

There was another pretty hairdresser that was introduced to me by a woman that worked with one of my relatives as well.

I have countless more stories just like this where people tried to hook me up with their friends.

I couldn’t believe how easy it was to meet girls through this way.

If you have any friends in Vietnam, you can ask around and shortly afterwards, you’ll start meeting Vietnamese girls.

Striking up Conversations with Girls

Vietnamese girls wearing red áo dài

This way is a lot harder compared to the previous two methods, however you will be able to obtain the highest quality this way.

Its like everything in life, the more effort that is required, the higher the reward.

One thing to note about this way of meeting girls is that Vietnamese girls are quite shy, and you will most likely run into language issues as well.

There are thousands of beautiful Vietnamese girls all roaming about each and everyday. By simply being outside and running your everyday errands, you will be able to meet countless women.

Hell, you could even meet girls just being at home if you live in an apartment or shared house. I was fortunate enough to live in a shared house that had several beautiful Vietnamese girls, and even talked with a few of them. Of course, I didn’t try to game them as my girlfriend came by frequently, but boy was I tempted!

If your unsure how to attract a Vietnamese girl or you need to work on your fundamentals then read this article How to Attract a Vietnamese Woman.


There’s a famous saying “Men age like fine wine.” and when it comes to dating younger women here in Vietnam this seems to hold true, at least up to a certain age bracket.

Dating here in Vietnam for older men is much less stressful compared to the west where men that choose to date younger women are often villainized and younger girls are shamed and shunned.

Vietnamese girls are a lot more accepting of bigger age differences then their western counterparts. Over here you could date a girl at least a decade younger then yourself without anybody getting all worked up over it.

However, its wise not to go overboard with the age differences unless you want to attract a certain type of girl that’s more interested in dating your wallet and passport rather than you.

When seeking a partner, a girl working at a bar is one of the last places you should consider going to, as these girls have been known to wreck havoc on men’s lives and have proven time and time again that they are not suitable for long term relationships.

Instead, there are several other avenues to go find a suitable partner such as through online dating, social circle, or even just striking up a conversation with that cute barista working at Phuc Long’s.

Just because of the west’s negative perception of dating younger women, you shouldn’t be deterred from dating younger women. If you change your mindset and are willing to put in the work to make yourself into an attractive guy without relying on your wallet or passport, you can score yourself a great gal that will be heaps and bounds better then anything you could have gotten back home.

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  • Reply
    November 17, 2019 at 3:16 pm

    i just recently found your website while browsing through the web and i love it. I feel like i can relate to a lot of things mention here, im a viet kieu from canada currently dating a vietnamese girl from halong. Please send me an email i would like to talk to you more about my experience.

    • Reply
      November 17, 2019 at 11:00 pm

      You can contact me on the contact me page.

  • Reply
    October 28, 2022 at 9:28 pm

    Hello my Cousin is arriving from Canada and would like meet VN women serious he arrive hanoi Nov 6

    • Reply
      Viet Kieu Dating
      November 1, 2022 at 5:33 pm

      Depending on how long he’s staying in Vietnam, it might be worthwhile to get a Vietnamcupid membership to meet women there. A lot of the women on there are looking for serious relationships and it makes it a lot faster and easier to meet Vietnamese women. Here’s a link Cheers!

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