12 Things I Learned from Dating Vietnamese Girls


Each girl that you meet in life, will carry a lesson and experience. Some of those will be fun and entertaining, while others can bring pain and misery into your life. But with each lesson, comes more wisdom.

In this article, I discuss a series of lessons that I learned from dating numerous Vietnamese girls here in Vietnam.

As I continued dating different Vietnamese girls, I saw patterns emerge from their behaviors.

It is not uncommon to see some or all of these traits when dating a Vietnamese girl and even my friends here in Vietnam have experienced similar accounts themselves.

These are the 12 things I learned from dating Vietnamese girls:

  1. The respect for traditional gender roles
  2. The need for constant attention
  3. They will ask to check your phone
  4. Can be quite jealous and territorial
  5. Loyalty
  6. Expert sweet talkers
  7. Will try to lock you down soon after dating
  8. Casual dating is a foreign concept to them
  9. They are all glued to their phones 24/7
  10. Not all of them posses a talent for cooking and cleaning
  11. Like to sleep with stuffed animals
  12. Taking things slow is completely normal

The Respect for Traditional Gender Roles

If you date a Vietnamese girl, expect to feel like a man again.

They won’t try to lead and grab frame from you, instead your expected to lead the way on all outings. None of that condescending attitude that your so used to will be present unless your dealing with a westernized Vietnamese girl.

They will put effort into their appearance and act feminine and well-behaved on dates.

Family comes first! None of this I’m gonna go become a career woman and work on my education and job and then once I’ve hit the wall, try to lock down some sucker.

It’s not uncommon for a lot of Vietnamese girls to go home to their parents house on the weekends or still live with the family. Most girls go into a relationship with the sole purpose of getting married and popping out babies one day. All other endeavors come secondly to this one goal.

Vietnamese girl in white dress

If you would like to learn more about traditional gender roles and dating culture in Vietnam, click here to read this article I wrote.

The Need for Constant Attention

If your used to dating in the west, this will become quite taxing and annoying for you. I know it has for me personally. Expect the girls that your dating to bombard you with texts practically everyday. You will receive questions like the following:

What are you doing now?

Did you eat yet?

What did you eat?

Was it delicious?

What did you do today?

Vietnamese girls can latch onto their suitors like no tomorrow. Some guys love this and can’t get enough, but for others it can feel like your being suffocated.

Oh but it doesn’t stop there. You will often get messages from her asking you if you love her, or do you miss her. Every week or so, I would receive some sort of message along the lines of this from the girl I was seeing. They need constant reassurances and validation.

Clinginess and neediness is seen is completely normal and is their way of showing you they care about you. This in turn can be interpreted as being high maintenance. But despite this, Vietnamese girls have a lot of great qualities that redeem this mishap.

To learn more about these wonderful qualities of Vietnamese girls click here.

They Will Ask to Check Your Phone

When dating Vietnamese girls, privacy doesn’t exist. Expect the girl that your dating to want to scourge through your phone soon after becoming lovers.

She wants to know if your seeing other girls on the side and in her eyes your phone holds all the secrets.

Non-compliance will automatically label you as being guilty until proven innocent.

It’s best to set boundaries early on in the relationship to avoid this drama.

checking phone

Can Be Quite Jealous and Territorial

This point ties in with the last one. Vietnamese girls can be quite jealous once they’ve taken a liking towards you.

Any mention of you going out with a friend will be interpreted by her as you going out on a date with another girl. Be careful how much information you divulge.

In addition, expect some of the girls to video call you just to check up on you and see if your story is true.

In case your still playing the field and haven’t agreed to an exclusive relationship with the girl, I would avoid doing any sort of voice or video calling with the girl.

It gives her a medium upon which to check up on you.

If you fail to answer the call, it will raise suspicions. Now if you had never done this before with her, and she just suddenly out of the blue tried to video call you one day, you can shrug it off much easier.

Also while out on dates with girls, especially ones that you meet online, expect the girls to make half-joking remarks that you are probably seeing other girls too. Just give her a big grin on your face and change the topic.

Due to a lot of foreigners coming here in the past and still to this day promising the girl the world only to end up pumping and dumping her after their vacation is over, a lot of girls have become accustom to being jealous. It also doesn’t help that a lot of local men cheat here as well.

upset girl


Vietnamese girls that are head over heels in love with you are quite loyal, assuming you’ve screened the girl properly and didn’t end up dating a wild party girl that’s promiscuous or a gold digger.

I had a friend here in Vietnam that I met about 2 years back when I was still living abroad. We met on a language exchange website when I was still learning Vietnamese and looking for a language exchange partner to practice my Vietnamese. I actually had no intention of dating her as I didn’t find her attractive at all nor did I flirt with her.

Shortly after she got into a relationship with some guy from Poland (long distance I might add) from the same language exchange website, she told me we could no longer be friends because he was so sensitive and was worried his feelings would be hurt.

loyalty from vietnamese girls

A few girls that I have dated here have also sent me screen shots of guys that hit on them and their attempts at brushing them off as well. If you pick the right girl, they can be quite loyal towards you.

Expert Sweet Talkers

When dating a Vietnamese girl you will often times hear your girl call you handsome “Dep Trai” or cute.

If your a 50+ year old fat slob that wears old t-shirts with sweat stains, and cargo shorts, you didn’t suddenly overnight become David Beckham’s twin brother. She’s sweet talked you into thinking your some hunk of a man.

This takes many guys from the west by surprise who are used to dating girls and dishing out compliments to them. If your lucky in the west, a girl may throw a bone back at you once in a blue moon but that’s it.

When men come to Vietnam, suddenly they feel like a rock star. Girls are throwing compliments at them left and right and the amount of attention they get is insane.

But what these men don’t realize is that Vietnamese girls are experts at sweet talking.

They’ve learned through the years that it helps them advance in society here in Vietnam.

Some girls, the genuine ones do this to their man to make him feel better and boost his self-confidence. Nothing wrong with this, but some others have ulterior motives. You gotta be careful depending on which type of girl that your seeing and be completely honest with yourself.

My Run-ins With Sweet Talkers

I had a case of a girl that I was seeing giving me all sorts of praises calling me handsome and having white skin soon after meeting. Even though I consider myself decent looking, it seemed too good to be true.

I later caught her seeing other guys behind my back, and all foreign guys too. Nowadays I don’t really take what a girl says at face value and are a bit more skeptical of what they tell me, unless she has been vetted and screened properly.

Sweet talker
Attempting to sweet talk me

This screenshot above is another sweet talker that was trying to butter me up so that when we went out, I would buy her things. In this case, a giant birthday cake. When her plans didn’t go her way, things got ugly. It was my shortest date ever, only lasting 5 minutes long!

You can read more about these types of girls here on this article that I wrote.

If your fat and out of shape and dress like some computer nerd that’s never left the basement, then you got a lot of work to do to improve yourself. Her telling you these things doesn’t suddenly make it so.

Will Try to Lock You Down Soon After Dating

Once the deed is done, expect them to give you the “talk“.

What are we?

I want to be your girlfriend

You better not be seeing other girls

Your not allowed to cheat on me

The list goes on…

You’ve basically become coerced into having a relationship with them after having sex. In their minds, once they’ve given up their prized possession, your ass is theirs.

girl in black dress

Casual Dating is a Foreign Concept to Them

This goes hand in hand with the above point.

Casual dating and open relationships have existed for a while now in the west but over in Vietnam, its a new concept for couples.

Girls date with the intention of things becoming serious and leading to marriage down the line.

When you tell them that’s not what your looking for, expect all hell to break loose.

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned!

This is why its important to set expectations properly at the get go. Don’t do relationship type of activities if that is not what your looking for.

Vietnamese girls make great girlfriends and wives. However, when it comes to casual sex, not so much. Expect to put in a lot of time before getting some action.

Vietnamese girls wearing glasses

They Are All Glued to Their Phones 24/7

If you think female smartphone usage was bad in North America, wait until you come to Vietnam.

Vietnamese girls take smartphone usage to the next level.

Whereas Vietnamese guys are addicted to playing computer games at an internet cafe or on their phones, Vietnamese girls are obsessed with using it for social media and taking selfies.

Go anywhere in Vietnam and I guarantee you that you will always see a Vietnamese girl on her phone, even in the countryside where most people make peanuts. You will still be able to find some girl owning an iPhone and going on Facebook.

Expect girls to be constantly checking up on their phones every opportunity they get.

Go to a mall on a normal afternoon day, and you’ll see tonnes of store employees all staring at their phones like zombies while they wait for the next customer to arrive.

Facebook addiction is real here and quite frankly wrecking havoc on their lives. They might as well open a rehab clinic to cure girls of Facebook smartphone addiction here.

This is a good way to also gauge the level of interest a girl has for you. If a girl replies back to you relatively quickly then she is most likely interested in you. Whereas if she takes 1-3 days to get back at you, or even hours, she is probably not all that into you.

girl using her phone

Not All of Them Possess a Talent For Cooking and Cleaning

This is gonna be a huge revelation for a lot of you guys, but not all Vietnamese girls can cook nor clean.

I once dated a Vietnamese girl that was a bit of a pig. I caught her on several occasions picking her nose, and called her out on it one time when she did it while sitting on my bed.

Absolutely disgusting.

She also never offered to help me wash the dishes despite me cooking us dinner, nor helping to clean up.

Instead, she just sat on her ass and played with her phone while I did the dishes. Needless to say, the relationship didn’t last very long.

The girl I am seeing right now, is a very lovely girl but her cooking sucks. The art of cooking never seemed to have been passed down to her from her mother.

I’ve encountered similar situations where a girl’s best home cooked dish was instant noodles. Take for example, little miss nose picker. She couldn’t cook if her life depended on it.

If your expecting every Vietnamese girl that you meet to be some great chef in the kitchen and have a meticulously clean home, well I hate to disappoint you, but it simply doesn’t apply to all Vietnamese girls.

dirty kitchen

Like to Sleep With Stuffed Animals

If you ever visit a Vietnamese girl’s bedroom, be prepared to see her stuffed animal collection.

On outward appearances a lot of Vietnamese girls seem really mature and have a good head on their shoulders, but once you’ve seen their stuffed animal collection, you’ll never look at them the same again.

I find it kind of cute yet strange at the same time.

The girl that I am dating right now, has 3 little pigs, several teddy bears, and some other stuffed animals that I’m sure she’s stashed away to avoid prying eyes.

 Vietnamese girl with stuffed animals

Taking Things Slow Is Completely Normal

Try this in the west and your toast. Your pretty much guaranteed to strike out every time if you move too slow.

Like being in the friendzone? Well then take your sweet lovely time with the ladies.

In Vietnam however, it has the opposite effect. If you go too fast, you’ll have her running for the door, never to be heard from again.

I’ve lost countless girls when I tried for the close too early. Meanwhile, guys that played the long game, eventually got the girl. One girl that I was seeing had a boyfriend for 5 months yet they never even kissed!

Likewise Inviting girls directly to your place on the first meet works 0.00001% of the time, and the girl is usually much lower in SMV then you.

In Vietnam you gotta be the tortoise, not the hare!


This article shared some of the personal lessons that I learned from dating Vietnamese girls from all corners of the country. You will find as you date more and more Vietnamese girls, patterns will emerge. With this knowledge, you will be better able to handle relationship issues that may come up in the future.

To summarize things, these were the 10 lessons I learned from dating Vietnamese girls:

  1. The respect for traditional gender roles
  2. The need for constant attention
  3. They will ask to check your phone
  4. Can be quite jealous and territorial
  5. Loyalty
  6. Expert sweet talkers
  7. Will try to lock you down soon after dating
  8. Casual dating is a foreign concept to them
  9. They are all glued to their phones 24/7
  10. Not all of them posses a talent for cooking and cleaning
  11. Like to sleep with stuffed animals
  12. Taking things slow is completely normal

For better or worse, each Vietnamese girl you encounter will impart a bit of wisdom into your life. What you decide to do with that knowledge will shape your relationship with her or future relationships with other girls.

Let me know what lessons you learned from dating Vietnamese girls in the comments below.

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