Dating

should you use a Vietnamese marriage agency to seek love?

Introduction

Marriage agencies in Vietnam have long been a popular choice for foreign men looking to get themselves a wife.

They are quick, convenient, less stressful than dating, and provide “pre-screened” girls to you based on the physical attributes that you ask for.

Many men rather than go the traditional route of dating prefer to purchase their wives and then import them home instead.

Is there any drawbacks towards this approach and should you even consider using a Vietnamese marriage agency to seek a wife?

In my opinion, I don’t think you should consider using a Vietnamese marriage agency to seek a wife and here’s why:

Relationship is Motivated by Monetary Means

Group photo for Vietnamese marriage agency

The problem with marriage agencies right from the get go is that more often than not, the relationship isn’t based off of love but instead monetary means aka. money or other economic incentives such as obtaining citizenship to a wealthier country.

A lot of these girls that signup for these marriage agencies often times come from the poor countryside rather than the cities.

These girls come from poverty stricken families that are struggling to make ends meet and because of this, a girl feels pressure to help out her family and also for a chance at a better life abroad by marrying herself off to some random guy from a more developed country.

Does this sound like a fairy tale love story to you?

Her main motivation for marrying you or some other random guy is based on money, not love.

Her duties as a daughter to fulfill filial piety compels her to make sacrifices on her love life to improve her parent’s livelihood.

She’s basically selling herself off with these marriage agencies help.

Ask yourself do you really want to be in a marriage like this?

Or would you prefer to marry someone that you know deep down loves you for you, and not because of where your passport is from?

Little to No Time to Develop a Relationship Prior to Marriage

couple from Vietnamese marriage agency

How much could you both really know about each other after having only met once or twice during a week long love tour?

Often times these marriage agencies offer romance tours that last anywhere from a week to 2, where couples only get to see each other a handful of times.

Its not surprisingly than that these couples often times end up splitting up.

According to the The Straits Times, Singaporean men that decide to marry a foreign bride have a greater risk of the marriage not working out when compared to marrying a local woman. In addition, those that partook in marriage agencies are more vulnerable to breaking up.

Relationships are based on spending time together and growing together as a couple. Going through the good times and the bad times together.

Saying “I do” to some complete stranger halfway across the globe is a recipe for disaster when it comes to relationships.

In order to have a successful relationship, you need to have a strong foundation for it.

They say it takes somewhere around 6 months before you can really see how a person is really like.

Most normal people tend to try and portray themselves in the best light possible when first meeting someone.

You won’t know their true colors until after you’ve gotten hitched with them.

Many times couples find out long after the wedding day that they were in fact incompatible with each other.

Maybe your a pig, while she’s a clean freak or vice versa.

Maybe she hates the food in your country and won’t assimilate.

Then when you throw in the language barriers into the mix and now suddenly the odds don’t seem that good anymore.

There’s a boatload of things that will spring up in the relationship well after the marriage that you wouldn’t have otherwise accounted for.

Deciding to take shortcuts does you no favors.

Teaches Men to Look for Short Cuts

Since your essentially purchasing a wife, it gives you very little incentive to improve yourself and raise your sexual market value.

This incentivizes men to be become complacent and lazy.

Sure in the short term, it might look ok.

No need to work on self-improvement.

I can just go purchase myself a hot young bride from a foreign country.

But somewhere down the line later this decision comes back and bites men in the ass.

There’s no such thing as something for nothing. You can’t expect to nab yourself a beautiful wife if you yourself aren’t a great catch.

To get something in life, you need to give something in return.

If your fat, out of shape, dress like someone from the 80s, live paycheque by paycheque, and possess next to no social skills, what makes you think you even deserve a woman in your life?

She’s gonna leave your sorry ass once she gets what she wants or keep on milking you high and dry because you got nothing to offer her in the relationship except supporting her financially.

You can buy her body, but you can’t buy her heart.

Genuine affection and love for someone cannot be purchased with money.

Now you can buy the fake kind, but that won’t last either.

Most guys that I see looking to buy themselves a wife and use a marriage agency more often then not appear to be low value males themselves.

This could be your typical blue collar worker from the countryside, a middle aged fat slob working an office job that spends his weekends playing video games and collecting action figures.

The point is, they have put absolutely no work towards themselves and are looking for short cuts.

When a girl decides to be with a guy, its because that guy provides her with some sort of value.

This value can come in the form of the following things:

  • Your looks. Your in great shape yourself and look handsome
  • Your status and wealth
  • Your personality and how you make her feel aka. game
  • A combination of these

There are a lot more factors in this equation but these are the most common.

Ask yourself which ones of these do you have?

Relying on things like wealth and status aka. look at my passport is a dangerous game to be playing.

If your looking for cheat codes, there aren’t any!

Put in the work like everybody else and you will soon be rewarded for it.

If you need help in this area, check out this article here.

Hidden Dangers

When you signup for a marriage agency and you just get hitched in the blink of an eye, your putting yourself in a potentially dangerous situation.

You don’t know anything about your new bride.

She could be an ex-convict, have a secret gangster boyfriend hiding somewhere, be mentally unstable, or even grease you like this poor fella here.

Then of course there’s the big issue of whether or not the girl is actually even being married off on her own free will or is she being trafficked and forced into marriage with a foreigner.

In northern regions of Vietnam, its not uncommon for some girls to get kidnapped and sold off to be someone’s bride.

Usually the ringleader will be either someone in the neighborhood or even a family member with large sums of debt, most likely from gambling or a failed business venture.

The young girl are usually either promised a good job with high salary, or just outright kidnapped and forced to marry a stranger.

Do you really want to be a part of something like this and encouraging it to continue?

Lastly, a lot of countries are starting to clamp down on mail order brides, making things more and more difficult to obtain a visa to sponsor their wives over and even closing down businesses engaged in these practices.

Incompatible Personality and Culture

Cute Vietnamese girl from Vietnamese marriage agency

Now normally if you met a Vietnamese girl through a traditional means such as dating her for a while before deciding to get hitched, you can negate a lot of these things because you both had already spent a significantly amount of time with each other and learned to compromise and be more understanding of each other’s personality, habits, and cultures.

However when you just run off and marry some girl that you barely even know anything about, this will undoubtedly lead to many problems later down the line in the marriage.

Maybe a month from now after you’ve already married her and sponsored her over to your home country do you realize that you can’t stand this woman or vice versa.

Maybe you hate her cooking

Maybe she has some annoying habits that you find repulsive such as smoking cigarettes

Maybe she snores at night

You won’t find out about these things when you go through a marriage agency because the marriage agency’s job is to make money. Every girl that they try to introduce you to, they will try to put her in the best light for you.

Its only through spending a significant amount of time together will you discover what you can tolerate and what you can’t.

In some cases, your new bride might just “disappear” and run off back home to Vietnam because she could not adapt to life in your home country.

Things like these could be worked out in a real relationship through dating, not through speed marriage.

High Cost

Suitcase of cash

Most of these marriage agencies will run you thousands of dollars, some even tens of thousands of dollars.

Flights, accommodations, transportation, “love tours”, translation services, and service charges will run your credit bill through the roof.

And then there’s the issue of it not being guaranteed to work.

Sure, they might make “guarantees”, but at the end of the day, your dealing with a real human being. There are no guarantees when it comes to love.

These folks will bleed you dry and put you into bankruptcy before you’ve even touched down in Vietnam.

Here’s a better alternative:

Alternative #1: If you don’t live in Vietnam

If your not living in Vietnam, signup for a dating website.

For the price of 1-2 meals you can pick yourself up a 1 month membership on VietnamCupid where girls are open to dating foreigners and are serious about settling down.

Or if your a cheapskate, you can even use one of the many free dating apps online such as Tinder. Just be aware though that you will need to weed through a lot more time wasters and less committed girls on there, and of course the quality will be lower too.

But hey, free is free right?

Alternative #2: If you live in Vietnam

What are you doing even considering a marriage agency for?

Nearly every single guy that lives in Vietnam is getting dates left and right.

And these guys aren’t even studs.

Go outside and start socializing with people. Get to know your neighbors and then ask if they know someone to introduce to you and in no time, you will start meeting Vietnamese girls.

There is absolutely no reason to spend thousands of dollars paying some shady marriage agency to introduce some poverty stricken girls from the countryside to you.

So save your money for the wedding, not for buying a bride!

Meeting Girls Is Already Super Easy

There is absolutely no excuse why you can’t meet a nice girl here in Vietnam.

I have seen poorly dressed backpacking hobos do it, so why can’t you?

Unless your lazy and unwilling to put in the work, there should be no reason why you cannot score dates with Vietnamese women here.

No girl is just gonna fall on your lap, you need to start putting yourself out there.

Go talk with any girl that catches your eye.

Say hello and ask how about her day.

Ask her to suggest a good coffee shop nearby

I don’t care what you say, just open your mouth and say something!

If you haven’t developed the balls yet to do this then go stick with online dating.

Your not afraid to send someone a message online right?

I hope not.

Dating here in Vietnam is like a dating paradise for men.

Tonnes of single beautiful slim feminine girls that are conservative and down to earth with favorable gender ratios.

And getting dates with them is pretty easy too if your not a creep.

What more could a single guy ask for?

If you need help on where to meet girls, go read my articles here:

Best places to meet girls in Ho Chi Minh City

The beginner’s guide to the best places to meet Hanoi girls

Scams

Asian girls go shopping

Each year tonnes of people report getting scammed through these marriage agency matchmaking services.

In some cases, the scam involves the agency themselves, while in others, the culprit is their new bride.

Greencard hunters, economic migrants, gold diggers, you name it, there’s probably been at least thousands of guys that got duped.

In the case of marriage agencies, often times they will hire someone to pose as an attractive girl on the website and chat with unsuspecting victims. In some other cases, the marriage agency may actually take a photo of a girl enrolled with the marriage agency and have someone else pose as her to talk with men. The real girl won’t even know about this until later on when a client demands to meet her.

Victims are encouraged to purchase translation services, send gifts, pay to communicate via mail with the “girl”, along with other miscellaneous extra charges.

This activity will go on for months and possibly years on end with the victim none the wiser while costing them thousands of dollars.

In addition to these, love tours are also promoted to squeeze even more money out of men.

Now when it comes to the bride, a lot of nefarious tactics are employed such as using the men as a way to obtain citizenship, asking the men to buy things such as a house back home in their new wife’s name, asking for money to send back home to support her parents, theft, and even running away from their husbands home are not uncommon.

There is significant risk involved when you decide to purchase a wife from a marriage agency.

Often times the women that join these marriage agencies have not been screened properly.

Some of them have a lot of baggage, and a troubled past such as secret boyfriends, huge family debt, children from a previous marriage, criminal records, being previously married to another foreigner, etc.

The marriage agencies might make all sorts of claims about having done thorough background checks on the women, but most of these are empty promises.

You might hear a marriage broker make promises such as your future wife being a virgin, university educated, and never have been married before. Meanwhile the truth comes out 2 months later when you find out she has a son back home and used to work as a bar hostess entertaining and sleeping with foreign men!

The marriage agency doesn’t care about you, only emptying your wallet.

Social Stigma

Vietnamese girl picking up flowers

and the last point…

The social stigma associated with having to purchase a wife.

I’m not gonna get into this part too much because I’m sure you know what everybody else is gonna think when they find out that you PURCHASED a wife.

Dating in Vietnam is already super easy.

And you need to PURCHASE a wife?

The act of purchasing another human being to be your bride in and of itself is creepy.

The woman is being treated as if she’s like a product to be sold from a store shelve.

Conclusion

Nowadays with the advent of the internet and also the ease of obtaining a Visa to Vietnam, there’s really no excuse to use a marriage agency unless your lazy and just looking for a short cut.

In this article, I outlined several reasons why you shouldn’t consider using a Vietnamese marriage agency to purchase a wife.

These include things like:

  • Relationship is Motivated by Monetary Means
  • Little to No Time to Develop a Relationship Prior to Marriage
  • Teaches Men to Look for Short Cuts
  • Hidden Dangers
  • Incompatible Personality and Culture
  • High Cost
  • Meeting Girls Is Already Super Easy
  • Scams
  • Social Stigma

Relationships and marriage require effort and commitment to make things work.

Using money as the basis for the foundations of your relationship with a woman is not the right way to go about things.

So don’t try to bypass the dating process, embrace it.

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