Do a quick search on google, and one of the most popular searches would undoubtedly be “how to get out of the friend zone with a girl”.
The friend zone is a guy’s worse nightmare when it comes to dating.
You’re madly in love with someone and know that deep down inside that your the perfect guy for her, except she never got the memo and only sees you as a friend.
I’m sorry but I only see you as a friend.a girl that friend zoned you
Getting kicked in the balls would probably feel a lot better then hearing those words being ushered from her mouth.
I’m sure we’ve all been been stuck in the friendzone at one point or another if we’ve ever taken a liking to a female.
The first time I ever heard of the dreaded friend zone was back in high school when I got my first taste of rom-coms.
I was watching all those stupid rom-coms because I had developed a huge crush on a cute Korean girl that was in my accounting class.
I was fawning over her day and night, unable to concentrate at school.
The color of her blonde and brown dyed hair.
The sweet smell of her aromatic perfume that would fill up my nostrils every time I got close to her.
And those big round hazel eyes with those jet black eyebrows veering out.
There was no doubt about it, I was in love, or so I thought at that time.
Unfortunately for me, I was too chicken at the time to make a move on her all throughout the school year, and instead was hoping that she would get the hint that I liked her and return my affections.
But instead, I found out that she only saw me as a friend when she left me a comment on my yearbook that read something along the lines of “Thank you for being so nice to me and helping me out and being such a great friend.”
To further add insult to injury, I soon found out that she got a new boyfriend.
I was crushed!
I laugh just thinking about it now though.
Oh how naive I was at that time.
If only I knew what I know now, I often tell myself, then perhaps I could have turned the tables around.
Like me once upon a time, many men make the mistake of treating a girl like a friend rather then a lover and then get tossed into the friend zone like a pair of dirty jeans being dumped into the washing machine.
Once your there it’s usually too late and there’s no hope of recovery.
Or is there?
On today’s article, I’ll be going over how to get out of the friend zone with a Vietnamese girl or any girl for that matter.
What Is the Friend Zone Exactly?
The friend zone is a very very sad and lonely place that no guy ever wishes to be in.
You’ve basically been delegated as just a platonic friend and nothing more.
She won’t see you as a romantic option at all.
Instead you get rewarded with a set of blue balls everytime your around her or thinking about her.
How great is that?
Why the Friendzone Is Bad for You
This unrequited relationship that guys get stuck in is extremely bad for his dating life because it does two things to him:
- He’s stuck in a platonic relationship with a girl that doesn’t return his affections yet he is being used as an emotional tampon by her. He’s the first person she’ll call on the phone when she’s being mistreated by that douchebag boyfriend of hers. She’ll tell him about that cute new guy that just asked her out on a date. He’s her shoulder to cry on and her guardian angel to lift her spirits up. He gives her all the benefits of a boyfriend yet doesn’t receive the rewards that come with it.
- He can’t move on and pursue other girls because he’s placed the girl on a pedestal. He’ll think she’s the only one for him and how he won’t be able to find another girl just as good as her, which leads to him not even trying.
When your stuck in the friendzone, not only are you experiencing regular emotional pain, your also wasting a hell of a lot of your time that could have been used for other better things.
Well now that you know why the friend zone is a very bad place for men and ought to be avoided, let’s find out why guys end up there in the first place.
How Guys End up in the Friend zone
There are usually 2 main reasons why guys end up in the friend zone in the first place with a Vietnamese woman.
They Act Platonic Around Her
This is one of the biggest reasons why most guys end up in the friend zone in the first place.
They treat the girl not as a romantic prospect but rather as a friend.
They share every personal details with each other like a best friend would.
They are there to support the girl emotionally and be a shoulder to cry on when she needs it.
They go and hang out with the girl but just as a friend would.
They never make any moves on her.
They never ask her out.
Instead they choose to play it “safe”.
But what they don’t realize is that by playing it safe, they are ultimately hurting their chances with her.
These are the guys that you see all the time talking with a Vietnamese girl on Zalo, facebook, or instagram.
They talk with her just as a friend would, but don’t convey their romantic interest in her for fear of getting rejected.
You need to show interest in the girl for her to see you in a different light.
If your spending any sort of time with a female that your interested in you, you should be doing what needs to be done to move things forward, not letting things stale.
They Take Too Long to Move Things Forward With Her
You ever hear the saying “strike while the iron is hot?”
Well this applies more often then not when it comes to dating.
Sometimes, you only have one chance to make things happen with a girl and if you screw up and wait too late, well sorry your out of luck.
Guys that understand women know that attraction has a deadline, and that in order to get the girl they need to take action and move things forward in the relationship with her.
This conveys confidence and experience.
Even though Vietnamese girls aren’t quite as quick to dismiss a guy if he doesn’t make a move on her right from the get go, they will still dismiss him nonetheless if he beats around the bush.
Far too often then not, I see guys that are too chicken to make a move on a girl that is just begging for the guy to do something.
A women isn’t going to make the moves for you unless she is super attracted to you, and even then, its quite rare.
I can’t count the number of Vietnamese girls that were dying for me to ask them out on a date who later lost interest in me for not doing so. Now I wasn’t interested in those girls hence why I didn’t try, but the principle still applies.
In addition, this rule applies for dates as well.
If you somehow managed to get her out on a date or even a few dates yet you fail to progress things, then you will also get the let’s just be friends speech as well.
She will tell you how she doesn’t feel any “chemistry with you” or some other excuse.
Guys that fail to progress things with a girl will leave both parties feeling disappointed and not getting what they wanted.
A girl will then rationalize to herself that the guy wasn’t all that into her to begin with and then banish him to the friend zone and his chances will be crushed.
Or she may lose attraction for him because she will no longer think he is confident.
How to Avoid the Friendzone
Show Interest in Her
This is probably the best thing that you can do for your dating life.
But you know what?
Most guys don’t do it because of a fear of rejection.
They are afraid of their egos getting hurt if the girl turns them down or ruining the “friendship” if it doesn’t work out.
Well here’s a newsflash for you, the friendship isn’t really a friendship to begin with if one party holds romantic feelings for the other.
Instead of being afraid of her saying no, you need to embrace rejection and accept that its part of the game when it comes to dating.
You need to look at it like this:
If she reciprocates then great, you now can move things forward with her.
If she doesn’t, well also great. Now you don’t need to waste anymore time fawning over her and can instead use that time to pursue someone else that will return your feelings.
In either case, you win!
Also realize that if you don’t show her that you like her, how in the world is she supposed to know this?
Even before I get a Vietnamese girl out on a date, I always make sure to flirt with her to establish that I’m not just looking to be friends with her.
This automatically lowers the risk that I can be placed into the friend zone because I have told her I want something more through my actions.
Don’t Treat Her Like a Friend
I remember one of the Vietnamese girls that I had a mini relationship with tell me about her ex.
They had dated for 6 months yet he never even tried to hold her hand or kiss her!
They continued this until he had to move abroad.
In her mind she questioned whether or not they were a couple or just friends.
Even though they were supposingly in a relationship, his actions said otherwise.
When she finally met me, I took her to bed within 2 weeks.
Soon after, she tried to pressure me into a relationship with her.
Unlike him, I knew that you have to move fast with women and treat them as a lover and not a friend from the get go.
If you want to be seen in a different light, then you need to act like your not just friends.
Things like flirting with her, touching her, leading her on dates, kissing her, and even taking her to bed all convey the message that you aren’t just friends with her.
Friends don’t kiss each other nor sleep with each other unless they are in a FWB type of deal.
But even those started out with the guy having to make moves on the girl and not just treat her as a friend.
Do both of these things and I can also guarantee you that no girl you pursue will see you as just a friend.
How to Get out of the Friendzone
Now in the unfortunate event that you screwed up and managed to get yourself placed into her friend zone, just know that all hope is not lost.
There is still hope that you can turn things around.
However I do have to make it clear here that it will be much harder to turn things around compared to someone that didn’t get placed there to begin with.
You will need to put in quite a lot of effort to reverse the damage and at the end, you may question whether or not the girl is even worth it.
But nonetheless here are the ways to get out of the friend zone.
Stop Obsessing Over Her
Most guys psych themselves out by making a girl out to be some deity in their minds.
They think that if they say or do something that conveys romantic interest in her that they kill any chances of moving things forward for her and will ruin the friendship by making it awkward.
You need to get this through your head.
She isn’t anyone special.
She’s just a normal girl, like the other 3.5 billion females that live on the planet.
She eats, sleeps, goes to the toilet like everybody else.
There will always be another girl around the corner who is even better then her.
You just haven’t met enough females to realize this.
Also taking her off the pedestal means that you won’t be nervous every time your around her and can instead be relaxed whenever your around her.
Vietnam has a population of over 90 million people, and if you stay in any of the major cities, you can’t help but run into a cute girl every 5 or 10 minutes.
The girl that your obsessed about can easily be replaced with the snap of a finger if you know how to.
Start Distancing Yourself From Her
Your basically going to go fall off the face of the planet for a while.
Make yourself less and less available and scarce to her.
If you used to call or text her often, now you won’t be calling or texting her quite as often.
If she calls you to hang out, you tell her your busy and will take a rain check on it.
If she calls you to dump her emotional baggage, tell her your busy.
You want to be more elusive and not give away your attention as freely as before.
Sometimes you will be free, while other times you will be busy.
Girls don’t like guys that are too easy. A guy that is too easy presents no challenge to her, and signals that he doesn’t have much of a life outside of her.
Now you want to do this gradually and not in one big swoop otherwise she will suspect your up to something and then try to get an answer out of you.
She may even get angry at you if you go overboard with this. So do it gradually.
When you become scarce, it makes her wonder about you and what your doing.
The more she thinks about you, the greater her desire for you will become.
Give her the gift of missing you.
Work on Improving yourself
Now that your not preoccupying your time with her, you can use that time instead to work on yourself.
Maybe you let yourself go in the last few years.
Maybe your wardrobe is in need of an overhaul.
Perhaps you neglected all of your buddies to hang out with this broad.
Whatever it is, you need to start working on improving yourself and raising your sexual market value and making yourself more attractive.
Your goal for doing this is to:
- Force her to see you in a completely new light and reevaluate how she initially saw you
- Allows you to attract other females that you could potentially date and also increases your abundance mindset
- Improves your lifestyle and makes your life more interesting and fun
- Takes your mind off of her. Just imagine how much mental energy you wasted just thinking about this chick all this time?
Also you should be working on your attraction and seduction skills during this time.
Go out and meet more women, especially women that are around the same level or higher then her.
Who knows, maybe you might meet an even better quality girl then the one that friend zoned you and this girl actually digs you from the get go.
As you improve each aspect of your life, you will start to develop more confidence and a different outlook, one of abundance rather then scarcity, which in turn makes you more attractive to her and other females.
Also your seduction and attraction skills will also improve during this time period which in turn will help you flip the script and up the odds of her seeing you differently.
Remember this isn’t an overnight thing, you need time to work on developing these aspects of your life first.
A good guideline is at least 3 months before you even considering coming back into her life.
Remerge back Into her Life
Once you’ve changed into version 2.0 of the new you and you’ve given her time to miss you, its time to come back into her life.
She’ll wonder what you’ve been up to all this time and may even ask you about it.
Just shrug it off like it was no big deal and just tell her you’ve just been busy with things.
You can keep it vague if you want to. This creates mystery.
Make Her See You in a Different Light
Now if you’ve actually put in the work like I told you, it will be damn near hard for her not to notice the difference in you.
I remember with one girl who I messed things up with badly and got friend zoned, I did a complete overhaul of myself.
I lost 20 lbs of fat, changed up my fashion and clothes, wore contact lenses, took up several new hobbies, and even started to meet more women.
By the time I was done with the change, she couldn’t help but notice all of the changes I had done with my life. In fact, I had a few classmates that couldn’t even recognize me because of all the profound changes I had made to myself.
Naturally I became more attractive to the opposite sex and in turn this helped attract more girls into my vicinity.
When you re-emerge back into her life, she may very well be shocked at how much you’ve changed.
But don’t start returning back to your old ways and behavior or she’ll question whether or not you’ve really changed.
Also it wouldn’t hurt to use pre-selection to your advantage here.
This is the ultimate weapon you can use here.
It is especially potent if you can be seen with another really attractive girl, preferably one that is of equal or better quality then her.
She will go nuts!
Letting her see other females being attracted to you, will make her feel insecure and create doubts in her mind on whether or not she evaluated you properly in the past as being more then just a friend
Women are more attracted to guys when they cannot tell how much he likes them. There’s actual research to back this up.
Now its important here to not let her know that your making her jealous deliberately otherwise it may backfire.
She will start to wonder now whether you were seeing other girls during that period of time when you were away from her.
If you’ve put in the work earlier, she will be extra curious about you and a lot of self doubt will be going on in her head and she may even start developing romantic feelings for you.
Get Her to Invest More
In the past if you used to do a lot of things for her, then stop it!
Now’s the time to reverse course and get her to start investing in the relationship.
Ask her to do simple things for you.
Maybe grab you some food or a beverage if you guys are going to meet up in a work or social setting.
Ask her help on something trivial like translating a document from Vietnamese to English.
Whatever, just start getting invest from her.
The more that she invests in you, the more her attraction levels for you will increase.
Also start leading when your together instead of following.
Girls want to follow guys, not lead.
Your calling the shots from now on.
If she accepts to follow your lead, she will fall under your frame and her attraction levels will increase even more.
Apply Your New Attraction Skills
Now its finally the time to apply the final recipe to the mix, your new attraction skills that you developed earlier.
You need to start doing things differently around her now.
Stop doing what you did in the past because that’s exactly what got you into this mess in the first place.
Things like these:
Displaying strong body language (standing tall, good eye contact, taking up space)
She will now stop seeing you in a non-sexual way.
Here’s a great example of sexual tension from a movie. Notice how he has sustained eye contact with her and is in her personal space for just a bit longer then what a normal colleague or platonic friend would be in. This is sexual tension, but it needs to be done right, otherwise you will come off as being creepy!
Get Her out on a Date
This is it.
Now its time to test the waters.
Ask her out on a date.
If you get the date then congrats, you’ve managed to escape the friend zone but you will still need to make a move on her during the date such as holding hands, kissing her, sleeping together, to progress things or all of your hard work would have been for nothing.
Remember it was your lack of action that got you into this mess to begin with, whether that being you hesitating to ask her out, trying to hold her hands, or even kissing her.
Now if on the other hand she turns you down for a date, don’t fret.
Maybe you are just so far off into the friend zone that it is beyond recovery.
Maybe she likes someone else.
Maybe she just isn’t attracted to you at all.
At least now, you won’t need to waste anymore energy towards pursuing her and can go after other girls.
If you listened to my advice, you should now be able to attract a better quality girl then before due to your self improvement.
One final note:
You can use her as a wing women and for pre-selection to help you attract other girls if you don’t end up with her. This can pay dividends for helping you attract a whole new set of dating options. Take her with you to a bar/club or social event and watch other females suddenly become more attracted to you.
In either case, you will win in the end!
Well there you have it, how to get out of the friend zone with a Vietnamese girl.
Now while there are no guarantees of course that you can escape it, hopefully with these tips and techniques you can substantially increase your chances of succeeding.
Remember its always better to do things right the first time around then having to go back and repair the damage.
Its like trying to plug a hole on a sinking ship.
Here’s a recap of what we talked about:
- What is the friend zone and why it’s bad to be there
- How men end up in the friend zone in the first place such as acting platonic with girls that they interested in romantically and also failing to make a move on her
- How to avoid getting put in the friend zone such as conveying interest in the girl and not treating her like a friend
- Finally how to get out of the friend zone if your currently stuck there such as withdrawing your time and attention away from her, working on yourself, going out there and meeting more women, and then re-emerging back into her life, and then making a move on her romantically.
If you follow these simply tips then I can almost guarantee you that you won’t be hearing the words “Let’s just be friends” anytime soon.
And in the unfortunate event that your stuck there already, I’m confident you now have the necessary tools to escape the friend zone.