Should you bring your Vietnamese wife back home?
This is a question that many foreign men have after getting hitched to a Vietnamese woman or are in the stages of considering marriage with them.
In this article, we’ll examine what happens when you decide to bring your Vietnamese bride back home and whether or not it’s even a good idea.
If you ever thought about marrying a foreign bride and then bringing her back home with you then this is the article for you.
Do you think your new wife can acclimate to a brand new culture abroad?
Some people get extremely lonely and homesick while living abroad in a new country for the first time.
There’s a big difference between spending 1-2 weeks while on vacation vs staying permanently in a new country.
That fun-loving and cheery wife that was full of life may end up turning into a sad and depressing being that just dampens the mood whenever you’re around her.
Things you’re new wife will need to contend with include a lack of familiarity with her surroundings, lack of family support from her relatives, depression, being homesick, and possibly language barriers.
I’ve experienced something like this when I spent a few months living in eastern Europe by myself several years back.
It was especially hard during the first few weeks of living abroad because I did not have any friends or a social circle that could help support me mentally.
I remember walking around the old town in the middle of the winter, freezing my ass off on a dark and windy night, feeling lonely and depressed and wanting to get on a plane right away and head back home.
If you plan on bringing your wife over to your home country, do you think that she has a good probability of being able to mesh into the new culture and environment or will it cause problems?
She’ll Change Overtime
This is another huge issue that men often overlook.
Believe it or not but after a few years of living in your country, you may very well find out that your Vietnamese wife has suddenly turned into the very same women that you were running away.
When you remove your Vietnamese wife from the very environment that made her who she is and place her in the same environment as all of the other local women, suddenly she starts becoming westernized and adopting the behaviour of the local women.
And if she’s being brought over to a country where the local diet is high in calories such as the American diet, you can bet your ass that she’ll be gaining weight and possibly getting fat soon enough after landing here.
A typical Vietnamese woman in order to maintain her slim frame barely eats any food at all.
I mean just look at the small portion sizes being served here in Vietnam.
For someone coming over from a western country, one serving per a sit down just ain’t going to cut it, whereas for a Vietnamese girl, it’s more than enough food.
Now contrast this with other Asians you see overseas that have gained quite a bit of weight due to following the local diet.
No amount of genetics is going to help her against fat gain.
You can pretty much kiss that slim figure goodbye when she comes and lives overseas.
But weight gain is the least of your worries, as she becomes less and less feminine over time, instead embracing feminist values that make her more masculine whether voluntary or not through repeated exposure to the feminist narrative from a western country.
Pretty soon she’ll stop putting effort towards her appearance because being fat and dressing like a slob with sweat pants and sneakers is socially acceptable abroad and even encouraged.
And you can forget about her helping around the house otherwise you’ll be called a misogynist by her.
Over time, she’ll become less and less attractive while also showing you less affection.
Furthermore, in the unlucky event that your Vietnamese wife starts making friends that have a negative influence on her ie. girls night out, her chances of cheating have now skyrocketed. Soon enough, she’ll start embracing the whole degenerate sex and the city lifestyle, along with reading trash like cosmopolitan that teach women how to play games and manipulate men and ruin their own relationships in the process.
Whether you like it or not, people change over time.
And if you’re bringing her over to embrace your new culture, that change may not be for the better.
Introduction to Western Male Thirst
Another key issue you need to contend with is western male thirst if you’re bringing her back to a western country.
Now when I refer to western male thirst, I am not referring to a specific ethnicity, but all of the males residing in a western country as a whole which can consist of numerous ethnicities.
Due to the ever-decreasing supply of attractive women in a lot of western countries, along with dating in and of itself becoming more and more difficult and the inability of men to mate with females, it is causing an unsatiating thirst in the local men.
What you now have are a bunch of supplicating men that will do almost anything just for a sliver of female attention.
Never before in history has there been such a huge amount of orbiters for females and the introduction of online dating and social media has only made things worse.
Guys are literally fighting tooth and nail just to get with table scraps.
Go look at the comments section of any semi attractive or even average looking girl’s social media account and you’ll know exactly what I mean.
Have you ever seen such a sad and pathetic sight before in your life?
Now imagine what happens when you bring your slim and attractive new wife back home?
Soon she’ll have guys hounding at her left and right with no end in sight.
And this doesn’t just apply to random strangers.
Oh no, even your closest friends or work colleagues will be making a move on her when your not around.
Your closest friends will stab you in the back and try to steal her away from you if the opportunity is available.
I had a Vietnamese girl that I was talking to who just separated from her husband recently and while her husband was trying to patch things up with his wife, his friend and work colleague was making moves on the guy’s wife behind his back.
Luckily due to the guy’s desperation and supplicating behavior, he ended up getting friendzoned as a result 🤣.
Your wife will never be safe from prying eyes while you’re living with her abroad.
Realization of Increased Sexual Market Value
To further add to the previous point, due to the hordes of desperate thirsty men that feel the need to hit on any females that they see, your wife will soon enough start realizing how much of a great catch she is over here on foreign lands.
Her sexual market value will quickly jump from a 5 to a 7-8 when in the company of these men and so will her ego.
I remember witnessing a perfect example of this while I was still in university.
There was a Chinese girl in my class that had the hots for me, but unfortunately for her, I maintain certain standards on who I date.
But this did not apply to another classmate of mine who was eagerly trying to date and lock-down any girl that would show him an ounce of affection.
Now, this wasn’t some bum either, he was a relatively tall, well dressed, and good looking guy.
But it didn’t matter, his thirst was his downfall and he ended up shackling down with a girl that was far below his level of attractiveness.
But I guess he didn’t care.
In his mind he probably thought any girl is better than no girl at all.
When your wife realizes how much leverage she now suddenly has in the relationship, she will start demanding more and more from you while giving less and less of herself.
She will also start developing self-doubt about whether or not you’re even a catch at all and if she even made the right decision marrying you.
And if she happens to come across someone that she feels is a better catch, she may even monkey swing right over to his arms.
This is a reason why I always tell guys to continue improving yourself and not look for short cuts like purchasing a wife from a marriage agency.
Sure you might have her for the short term, but as soon as you bring her back and suddenly she is surrounded by higher value guys, sooner or later she’s going to leave you for someone else.
But guys never listen and then a few months or years later down the line, they cry about how they got taken advantage of and how their girlfriend or wife left them for someone else.
This is another biggie that applies especially for men in the previous example who love to go and purchase themselves a wife off a website or marriage agency as if they are going grocery shopping for produce.
Another group that is especially prone to falling victim to marriage fraud is the schmucks that decide to go get hitched after only meeting a woman for a few days, weeks, or months.
These guys try so hard to lock down a woman for fear of losing her and you can smell the desperation from miles away.
The whole vetting process just gets thrown right out the window because they are so desperate to have a female in the life that common sense is not exercised.
Oh, what possibly could go wrong?
Guess which groups of guys typically fall prey to the marriage fraud scams?
I couldn’t find any recent statistics on the matter but according to statistics from the US Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE), they found that 30% of all immigrant visas issued on the basis of a marriage to a US citizen were fraudulent in 2006.
Out of 450,000+ visas that were issued for marriage, 30% of them were fraudulent!
Typically some guy gets into contact with some attractive looking broad that he either met online, through a shady marriage agency, or some “friends” from their social circle that just so happens to have a relative that is “single” that they could introduce to them.
Due the guy’s desperation and thirst, he can’t help but “fall in love” with this woman that he knows absolutely nothing about and soon enough, they get married and he files an application for sponsoring his new wife to come over.
Within 2 years or however long it takes to get her permanent residency or citizenship, the marriage soon comes to an end.
She get’s her citizenship and the guy gets played.
You might want to have a look at this article I wrote about the exact same thing happening to a family member of mine.
There’s also the issue of your new wife running away soon after getting married and landing in your home country.
Usually, the naive guy spends thousands of dollars paying some marriage brokerage to purchase a wife and the wife gets a cut of those proceeds. She soon disappears, never to be heard from again after arriving in his home country.
When you decide to sponsor your new Vietnamese wife over to come live with you abroad, you run the risk of becoming a victim of marriage fraud. This risk is significantly increased if you’re like one of those two groups of desperate thirsty men that just go get married on a whim without doing any vetting at all.
Unfavorable Divorce Laws Towards Men
It’s no surprise to most men that live in a western country, especially in the USA that divorce laws are highly biased towards men.
After getting divorced from their wives, oftentimes men may find themselves being forced to pay alimony and continue supporting their wife well after they have separated.
In fact, in some states, you may be required to continue paying alimony permanently.
Now if you happen to have children with your ex-wife, you can tack on child support payments as well, because in most cases, custody of the child is awarded to the women.
You might as well just start collecting food stamps because most of your money is going to go towards your ex-wife.
Are you prepared to pay up in case things go sour with your Vietnamese wife when you bring her over to come live with you?
Sponsoring Her Family Members To Come Abroad
There’s another dark side of bringing your wife back home and that’s sponsoring her family members over as well.
This is like an unwritten rule that Asians particularly Chinese and Vietnamese have.
If you marry their daughter and move away, you’re expected to help sponsor her family over.
If you enjoy living with the in-laws then by all means bring your wife back home.
Family means everything to Vietnamese people.
In fact, it’s perfectly normal and even encouraged by some families to be living under the same roof.
You can expect a lot of drama in your marriage if you decide not to help sponsor her family to come abroad.
Light At the End of the Tunnel?
Even though I do advise against bringing your wife to come live with you abroad, there are some exceptions to this when you stand a good chance of having a successful marriage with them despite being overseas.
You’re an Attractive and High Value Guy
Most guys that women meet tend to be low value. There would only be a handful of guys that are high value to ever come into her existence. If you’re already a high value guy then you probably don’t have anything to worry about and if you aren’t, well then you better start working on upping your value.
Also, guys that are reasonable in what type of wive that they can realistically get would fair far better than someone overshooting their value. This means no large age discrepancies, no large value differences in looks.
I came across a couple one time while browsing a friend’s facebook friends list. My friend had a Vietnamese girl friend that had just gotten married to some old fart and moved over to the states.
The guy was fat, old, and ugly, while she was a young early 20’s girl that looked like a TV celebrity.
It was pretty obvious why each one of them married the other.
Guess what happened after I checked up on that couple 1-2 years later?
They had separated after she got her citizenship and now she was sleeping with another young Korean guy, while he ended up paying alimony and child support for the child they had right when she arrived over in the states.
Everybody could see where this was heading except for this guy.
He was completely delusional in his expectations on what he could be getting as a life partner.
I get questions like this all the time from guys in their 50’s that ask me what do Vietnamese girls in their 20’s think about dating someone in their 50’s.
Unless you’re a really high value guy to make up for that large age difference, don’t play with fire or you’ll get burned.
I mean seriously…
What sort of value could some 50 or 60 something year old guy provide a 20 something year girl that a 30 or 40 year old guy can’t?
If you choose to date and marry a girl old enough to be your daughter you better know what type of relationship that you’re getting yourself into, and I can almost guarantee you this, it ain’t one based on love.
She Won’t Embrace the New Local Culture
If your new wife does not want to embrace western culture or whatever culture that you’re importing her into, then the chances of her changing too much isn’t going to be too much of a problem.
A perfect example of this would be the tens of thousands of FOB (Fresh off the boat) Asians that have landed overseas and now settled there permanently.
Most of them tend to settle in Asian enclaves and hang around Asian neighborhoods and most of their friends are Asian as well.
You can easily tell them apart from a westernized Asian due to their appearance and behavior.
If you think that your Vietnamese wife has a good chance of falling in this category, then you probably don’t have too much to worry about.
You Already Lived Abroad With Her and Even Have Kids
This is the ultimate litmus test for seeing how genuine and devoted to you she is.
If she starts complaining about how you won’t take her back home right after you got married then you got yourself a huge problem.
Whereas if she replies that she’s glad to go wherever you want to go, then you know you got yourself a keeper.
You probably wouldn’t need to worry too much about marriage fraud with this one.
Guys that already built a history and solid relationship with their wife prior to getting married tend to be able to weather the storm better compared to guys that purchase their wives from a marriage agency or mail order catalog.
Now, of course, this doesn’t guarantee that your relationship is foolproof and that it won’t someday end, however you are off to a much stronger start in preserving a healthy and strong relationship with your wife.
Now if you have kids with her already, then it will also mean that she will be too busy being preoccupied taking care of your kids and not having time to hang out with the local women who will start putting trashy ideas into her head and having a negative influence on her.
You Live Somewhere With a More Balanced Gender Ratio
If you’re thinking about bringing your new wife over and living in some mining or oil town where the men outnumber the women 10 to one, forget about it. Those guys are gonna be pouncing on her as soon as your not around her and you obviously can’t be watching her 24/7 either, as she will feel suffocated and that you don’t trust her nor is it realistic.
When you live in a city or town where there’s a more favorable ratio of women to men then the men tend to be a lot less thirsty and desperate for meeting women.
Now if the local women are at least decent looking then even better.
It will mean more competition in the market.
Do you think guys in countries like Ukraine worry about other men trying to steal his wife or girlfriend?
They know there are more than plenty of attractive women still around. In fact, they actually have more women than men and it’s the women that fight to get a man.
If You Come From the Same Culture or a Similar One as Her
In this case, Vietnamese guys or other East Asian men would probably fair a lot better bringing their wives over to live with them.
Embracing the same culture at home will allow her to have an easier time settling overseas and also prevent her from becoming too westernized.
You may also be able to replicate some of the things she misses most in Vietnam such as cuisine, hobbies, cultural understandings, due to shared cultural beliefs and lifestyle etc.
This is often why you see a lot of overseas Vietnamese returning back to Vietnam to look for a wife and why a lot of Vietnamese women prefer to marry overseas Vietnamese or other East Asians due to the same or similar cultural background.
While staying over in Vietnam may not always be possible for many guys, bringing your Vietnamese wife back home can present numerous challenges and problems.
In this article, we looked at several drawbacks when you bring your Vietnamese bride back home and these include things like:
- Cultural acclimation
- Her changing overtime
- Western male thirst
- Increased sexual market value
- Marriage fraud
- Unfavorable divorce laws towards men
- Having to sponsor her family members to come abroad
But despite these drawbacks, some marriages can and do work out, but those usually possess a set of key ingredients such as:
- the guy is high value
- her not wanting to change and follow the local culture
- they were already living together in Vietnam and may even have had kids before they moved overseas
- their city of residence has better gender ratios
- they come from the same or similar culture
Luckily for most men, they have control over a lot of these factors that can tip the scale in their favour.
It may require a bit of work, but it’s all worth it in the end.